Today I cleaned off my desk - I mean REALLY cleaned it off - removed everything and scrubbed it. Ahhh - so much better now. I've been having a few days of jumpy fidgety antsy pants agitation, which I hate. The clean desk somehow helps channel the ants or at least distract me for a while. Some people can get a lot done under those conditions, but not me - mostly I hop around and fuss and fret a lot, which ARGH. Maybe it's the hopping that makes it worse - a certain amount of fussing and fretting is normal under even my happiest, most productive circumstances.
(photos are from covered bridge tour - these are looking down from the roadway to the river.)
POSSIBLE CAUSES:
1) vacation buzz has left the building! (probably true. I've lost that loving feeling and it's gone, gone, gone woah-oh-oh. This coincided with returning to work, which is strange because I love my job mostly.)
2) pre-birthday freakout: …maybe. I'm feeling strangely grinchy about it this year - not because I'm SO OLD (although I am), but because it doesn't even feel like summer, not even a little bit - as I write this the temperature is in the 50s and I'm wearing layers. There are still a couple of weeks for this to turn around, though. Let's assume it's the weather and not me in deep denial about my ancient decreptitude and general lack of achievement, okay?
3) I'm not doing things I know I need/want to do. (what are the odds that this is it? Ha ha. shut up.)
I could probably make a list of sixty things, which would get sillier and sillier (#38 vendetta against a certain word that shall remain nameless) but might also have little nuggets of no-shit-sherlock obviousness (#52 quit drinking caffeine after 10pm). WHO KNOWS? It is a mystery of the brain and biochemistry and the universe.
POSSIBLE CURES:
1) the sun. You don't know what you've got till it's gone! We're having the weather in Portland that people (you know "PEOPLE") assume we have all year long. It does rain a lot, but usually not during summer - even in the winter there's the odd glorious sunny day that makes a proper balance for the usual gloom. My gloom balance is off. Fresno helped, but come on. Fortunately, all I have to do to get to the sun here at home is drive east for a bit. Once you're over the mountain, you're pretty much out of the cloud blanketed rain valley.
2) measurable progress. I've got a lot of open projects right now: stories, photos, sewing, needlecraft, gardening. Normally, this is a good way to work for me - I can go from one to another and keep working at them all. HOWEVER, lately some projects get all the attention and others are in a place called Permanent Later. Permanent Later is NOT GOOD.
3) plan a vacation. I just got back from one, but it was short and not really that far away.
Of course it's possible that there's just no cure for the summertime blues. Youtube research led me to T. Rex at Wembley in 1972. I think the fringe cape at the very beginning of this video just might cure the summertime blues or any number of problems caused by jumpy fidgety anty pants agitation. Fringe capes and puffy lavender satin jackets for all those afflicted!
