pre-crimson

February so far: the sun is shining, the birds are singing and spring is in the air. (although it may leave the air. You know how it is.) ANYWAY, I was reading around the internet and saw yet another iteration of the itunes song meme and decided that it was time to play along since I haven't done one in months.

I know it's silly and originally designed by 11 year olds for 11 year olds, but it's fun for everyone. I always seem to find things I haven't heard in ages or didn't even realize I had. I tried to keep my comments to a minimum, but was not always successful.

here are the instructions, followed by my results.

1. Put Your iTunes on Shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. You must write down the name of the song no matter how silly it sounds!

4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.

1. what do your friends think of you?
Girl Anachronism -- Dresden Dolls. (I would like striped stockings, but I think that's about where the similarities end. Just contemplating that level of chest-beating garment-rending LIFE DRAMA exhausts me, but I do admire the cabaret stylings!)

2. If someone says, "is this okay?" you say...
Tick Eats the Olives -- Devendra Banhart. (what I say to EVERYTHING, because it sounds like some kind of spy code. other person: "I understand the weather can be unpredictable this time of year." me: "tick eats the olives" handclaps ta-dah! the door to the speakeasy slides open, and we dance the charleston until sunup.) (but not to this song.)

3. How would you describe yourself?
Suffer For Fashion -- of Montreal. ("it's not supposed to happen like that")

4. what do you like in a guy/girl?
Shining Star -- Earth, Wind & Fire (Wheeeee! the lyrics are kinda woo woo space groovy, but the song makes me feel good. "words of wisdom: yes I can")

5 . how do you feel today?
When Your Mind's Made Up -- those Once people.

6. What is your life's purpose?
Kablerium vs. Obliviosity -- Helio Sequence. (obviously.)

7. what is your motto?
All Hands on the Bad One -- Sleater-Kinney. (I feel like I should embroider this on something.)

8. what do you think about very often?
Black Night -- Johnnie Morisette. (a-ha ha ha. "when will my troubles end?")

9. what is 2+2?
Be There -- Kelly Slusher.

10. what do you think of your best friend?
Polly Come Home -- Robert Plant and Alison Krauss.

11. what do you think of the person you like?
Song For Myla Goldberg -- the Decemberists. (seraphim and seaweed swim)

12. what is your life story?
Hotel Song -- Regina Spektor. (hilarious! My evil twin must be getting up to some adventures she's neglecting to mention. this better not be on my credit card.)

13. what do you want to be when you grow up?
California Desert Party -- Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers. (There's guacamole!)

14. what do you think of when you see the person you like?
Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole -- Martha Wainwright. (itunes is kind of a misanthrope today, but this made me laugh so hard!) (I don't really think this about anyone I know.)

15. what will you dance to at your wedding?
Ooh La La -- The Faces. (oh, this is funny too. wish I knew then what I know now? too late! There are werewolves everywhere. who picked the date for this party?)

16. what will they play at your funeral?
I Don't Blame You -- Cat Power. (I also laughed at this, because I totally blame you! FROM THE GRAVE! Prepare for haunting.)

17. what is your hobby/interest?
Paul's Song -- M.Ward. (there's Portland rain in it! I wouldn't really call it a hobby, but it is an interest.)

18. what is your biggest fear?
Gotta Serve Somebody -- Bob Dylan. (I think I might be turning into a contrarian. If you say I gotta, I don't wanna. Not even for you, Bob Dylan.)

19. what is your biggest secret?
This Loneliness -- El Perro del Mar. (itunes is weeping prettily on a red velvet fainting couch. "no, it's nothing! I'm fine, just allergies." boo hoo hoo/ embroidered All Hands on the Bad One hankie/ delicate nose blowing/ heavy sigh.)

20. what do you think of your friends?
Weddle On -- Tammare. (Friends, I don't really know this song, so feel free to apply Shining Star here!)

21. what will you post this as?
Pre-Crimson -- Apples in Stereo.

floating my boat (currently)

Five songs on my shuffle that I'm always happy to hear:

Tabasco Sole -- Voluntary Butler Scheme: !!! This song! It's like going to the UK with the Jackson Five for the express purposes of a) stealing the devil's shoes b) putting the devil in the oven on high c) playing the piano in the lift d) hotstepping in the devil's stolen shoes d) doot doot doot doot dootdootdootdoot e) I've been delightfully overwhelmed by doot doot doots and no longer remember what item was meant to be "e)." This list doesn't even begin to address the depth of my affection for the band name, which sounds like a university late night sure bet pyramid scheme for clean socks that falls apart in the harsh light of day, although I would posit that any scheme that ends with this song is a success. (From Fluxblog last month.)

Sister's Got a Boyfriend -- Rufus Thomas: Everybody's got something -- "Sister's got a boyfriend, Papa's got a shotgun... the dog got pnuemonia." for one week I'd love to have the ghost of Rufus Thomas follow me around and sing/narrate my life. This would undoubtedly goose me in the ass so that his unique talents wouldn't be wasted singing "Jen's reading the internet, agaiiiiiiin/ now she is crocheeeeeting." (although that already sounds more interesting when I imagine him singing it in his shorts and cape, punctuated with stax/volt horns!) This song is from the completely fantastic Complete Stax/Volt Singles 1959-1968 Collection. Every sad song sounds happy, every happy song sounds sad; most of them are inexplicably wonderful and some (like this) are perfectly bizarre.

Lovin' Machine -- Wynonie Harris: "I just built me a brand new lovin' machine!" This is what would happen if the good time mad scientist/inventor that lives in the ramshackle mansion at the top of the hill (the one with the laboratory in the basement, not the one with the cemetery in the backyard) was also a sociable but lonely broken hearted saxophone/boogie woogie piano playing pervert. Go up to his house and have a chat and a look around (keep likely points of egress in mind, although you probably won't need them) listen to some records, but for god's sake don't eat or drink anything. Seriously. "you put a quarter in the slot, things light up, and out comes your lovin' in a dixie cup" (I think I got this from Said the Gramophone, some time in the misty past.)

Roller Girl -- Anna Karina: Every time I hear this song, my lack of go-go boots is sadly and sincerely felt. (The imaginary ghost of Rufus Thomas just reminded me that a current lack of boots does not have to be a permanent lack of boots and that striped socks can be acquired almost instantaneously. who knew he'd be so helpful so soon?) From the Pop a Paris: Rock and Roll and Mini-skirts vol. 2 collection. Go here to watch Anna Karina sing this song while jumping around in Serge Gainsbourg's orange shirt, harry potter glasses, some long socks and a hockey glove. You know you want to! "roll, roll, roll roller girl!" (illustration by Hannah Karina, who also has lots of photos of Anna Karina in her photostream.)

Happiness Runs (Pebble and the Man) -- Mary Hopkin: This is one of those songs that at one point I might have dismissed as hippie dippy la la la, let's make patchouli scented sand candles, everyone!, but it never fails to cheer me up at least a little. Not once has it failed, and I've tested it extensively. Usually I'm not one to respond immediately to this kind of sincere soprano, but I love it! (the Donovan version is good too, but I like this one better.) "Happiness runs in a circular motion/ Falters like a little boat upon the sea/ All our souls are deeper than you can see/ You can have everything if you let yourself be/ Everybody is a part of anything, anyway/ You can have everything if you let yourself be/ Happiness runs, happiness runs/ Happiness runs, happiness runs."

recently played

Monitor Mix had an interesting post about the shuffle/random function of the iPod a couple of weeks ago. I agree that using the shuffle function on the whole library is rarely satisfying, but I LOVE shuffling selected playlists. The one I use the most often is a "happy" playlist I started a couple of years ago when I was feeling sad. In the beginning I had to vet the songs carefully, because a stealth sad (or upsetting in some way) song could literally ruin my day. (I know, I know. I'm a sensitive delicate flower.) Thankfully, I'm feeling much better now and can tolerate sadness or sarcasm without taking it (quite so) personally. All that being said, the bedrock of this playlist (the one I listen to 90% of the time when I go walking) is made of songs that I love (that make me happy) for various reasons.

I have a whole PLAN to build a new playlist on my shuffle because it's smaller and the battery lasts longer. (My ipod is ancient as these things go.) Anyway, I know it sounds like a minor thing, but I'm all excited by the prospect of creating a NEW list, even though it will have many of the songs that the old one does. I think it needs to be longer, and I plan to be a little quicker adding and deleting things. (It was a big hassle with my old computer, but that's no loner an issue.)

So, since I haven't done it in a long time (and who doesn't love a list?), here are some songs I've heard on shuffle lately:

Campus -- Rostam Batmanglij: Fluxblog had this a while back, and I really like it. This is (according to the internet) an early, pre-Vampire Weekend version of the song. I'm surprised by how much I like it, since my experience with Vampire Weekend thus far has been either indifference or a tremendous urge to violence. I love the way this orchestral arrangement sounds; it's beautiful! I am neither bored nor do I wish to punch anyone in the head. Perhaps this seems like a strange rubric for success, but it works for me.

Grass Skirt -- All Girl Summer Fun Band: This is not particularly deep or thoughtful, but it's summertime and sometimes I just want to sing "it's green and it's itchy, but I don't mind/ when it's swishing through the breeze it feels so fine/ I've got my bikini top it's orange and red/ I'm a coconut princess and I'm gonna knock you dead/ in my grass skirt (grass skirt!) grass skirt (grass skirt!)"

It's Alright, Baby -- Komeda: I love this song -- it sounds to me like they're beaming down advice and assurances from another planet. They have the benefit of Big Picture Vision. These Swedish aliens are correct: it is a crazy world, it's a bit absurd. But it's alright. Woo Hoo.

"Woo Hoo It's alright, baby

It's a crazy world, it's a bit absurd

Woo Hoo It's alright, sugar

It's a crazy world, it's a bit absurd

Woo Hoo It's alright, honey

It's a crazy world, it's a bit absurd

Woo Hoo It's alright, it's OK

It- is- so- crazy"

Trouble In Mind -- Sam Cooke: This is one of the best "I'm feeling bad right now, I'll probably feel better later, but right now it's bad and that's just the way it is" songs. It acknowledges the blue "I got that trouble in mind, that's true/ I have almost lost my mind" but also that this is transitory "you know that I'm blue/ but I won't be blue always/ Yes, the sun gonna shine,/ in my back door someday" He's got a great voice for making you feel the sad, but also to feel the sun that's on its way.

Spanish Harlem Incident -- Bob Dylan: This always sounds like a hot weather song to me. Hot summer in the city. "Gypsy gal, the hands of Harlem/ Cannot hold you to its heat./ Your temperature's too hot for taming,/ your flaming feet burn up the street." It's full of gypsy exoticism, which (like the hula girl picture above) is kind of troubling, (more accurately I like it, but worry that liking it is somehow insensitive) but at the same time he makes good use of that exoticism as a foil for his own self-questioning. "Let me know, babe, about my fortune/ Down along my restless palms." (restless palms! So great.) It could all be a poetic come on, or maybe just narcissism, "I been wond'rin' all about me/ ever since I seen you there." -- it's probably both and more. (restless palms! flaming feet!) "You have slayed me, you have made me,/ I got to laugh halfways off my heels./ I got to know, babe, will you surround me./So I can know if I'm really real."

Soul Finger -- The Bar Kays This is one of those brassy bassy songs that DEFIES YOU to remain grouchy. I can't do it! For 2.5 minutes it convinces me that everyone in the world could be having a good time if only they'd listen to this song. SOUL FINGER!

Strawberry Swing -- Coldplay: I neither hate nor love Coldplay. There are a few songs that I think are really pretty, but I don't go out of my way to expose myself to more. I went to bed before their segment on The Daily Show, for example. But then Said the Gramophone had this song, so I decided to try it. I'm glad I did! It's light, sparkling, undemanding -- like slightly carbonated strawberry lemonade. I enjoy hearing it, but I still wouldn't stay up to watch them, even on the Colbert Report.

you always end up in the ci-ty

There's all this stuff I've been wanting to write up forever (books, movies, projects, tv, etc), but I kept putting it off because I was busy or having a crisis or you know, just lazy. Then it (the heretofore mentioned "stuff") became a giant MOUNTAIN that seemed way too tall to climb without sherpas or mountain goats or alpacas or the steely ponchos-in-prison determination of Martha Stewart. (I don't have these things!) It was a problem. But then a lightbulb switched on and I realized that I don't have to do it all at once -- some of it I don't even have to do at all. (a pretty dim lightbulb, but sometimes any illumination helps.):

TV: I have this new TV watching plan that makes me feel like I have discovered penicillin or invented the mini-marshmallow. Are you ready? I am trying to only watch shows that I really want to watch. It seems so obvious, but my habit for far too long has been to park my butt on the couch with my laptop and simultaneously read, answer email, and watch tv. This is no good! I've decided to pay more attention to the shows I enjoy (and also to watch more movies -- more on this later), and if I'm not watching something I like, then get up and do something else. Like... read a book! or sew! (although I have taken to doing hand sewing while watching TV, which is less distracting than the computer.) Anyway -- it's not a perfect plan, but I'm trying to be more aware of my time and make sure I'm doing things I want to do.

So, last night I watched Bones and sewed patches on my vintage quilt. Oh, Bones! I missed you when you were gone. Here are some of the things I like about this show: 1) great ensemble (hey, look -- functional yet imperfect people working together!) 2) I love the Booth/Bones relationship -- they come at the world from completely different ends, yet respect and care for each other -- seemingly unheard of in this post Bush/Gore environment. 3) the crime of the week is never the main point of the show, the ensemble is the main point of the show. (although this week it intertwined since Brennan's father was on trial.)

That being said, the very things I love about the show also worry me since I'm a worrier: 1)If everyone gets along so great, where's the tension? (They've handled it well so far, but this is something I can see becoming an issue.) 2) Bones/Booth: to quote Giles from Buffy, the subtext is rapidly becoming text. I like to see their relationship developing as it has been (they have crazy chemistry), but I think it's important that they don't push it too fast. That tension is so delicate and balanced at this point -- it's one of the few things that really separates this show from others of its ilk. 3) That courtroom scene this week was incredibly unbelievable. Like Boston Legal unbelievable. Ally McBeal unbelievable! I don't mind because that's not what the show is about for me, but even I noticed. 4) I love Sweets! But I did not love the insane way they decided to tell us he could stay on the show -- he gets to continue studying Booth/Brennan and why they get along when they should not, but since he no longer has a Legitimate Sanctioned Reason, he's doing it in exchange for "profiles on demand" which sounds pretty lame to me, and like I've said before, I'm no procedural purist. (but I love him and am glad that he'll be on more. He is A-dorable.)

song stuck in my head: Myriad Harbor by New Pornographers. I know it's from last summer, but I'm loving it so much RIGHT NOW it's making me crazy. I woke up and had to hear it 10 times. (10 times is a lie! it was more times than that.) It makes me want to dance around in my pajamas, sing it in the car, go somewhere, do something moderately stupid just because. I love that it has a specific, evocative setting (NYC) yet captures that universal everywhere feeling when the sun hits just right and you're with your friends wandering around talking to people and doing stuff for no particular reason. Things are not perfect, troubles from yesterday will be there tomorrow; there's no plan and you'll probably get into at least one argument over nothing -- yet there's a certain buoyancy as the day unspools. It sounds like a warm weather song to me -- not that it's currently warm here, but I have faith that it will be warm again. I need to hear it 3 more times, right now.
I took a plane, I took a train/ (ah, who cares, you always end up in the city)

raspberry rita

my head hurts. I would describe the headache, but I think that would make it hurt more.

As I have said many, many times before, I LOVE the shuffle function on my ipod. There are hundreds of reasons, but the most recent is for some Raspberry Beret/ Lovely Rita proximity. They are practically the same song! BEHOLD, an incomplete comparison:

Both are lovely little story songs of pop perfection from the POV of a male admirer. (the male gaze is not exactly the unicorn of popular music, I grant you, but still!)

The song protagonist is not merely an observer -- he interacts with his pop-song dream-girl:

+Lovely Rita is asked "when are you free to take some tea with me?" and he gets a date out of it -- even sitting on the sofa with a sister or two. I think he made some points because he "inquired discretely," and also maybe because she liked the way he said "met-ah maid." although maybe he's moving too fast with this "where would I be without you?" business. I'll tell you where you'd be -- traffic court! I hope this whole thing wasn't a scam to get out of some parking tickets. (am suddenly feeling very protective of Rita. You'd better not break her heart, you check-skirting sister-flirting Beatle, you!)

+Beret Girl is told "I think I love you." I'm assuming this worked because a) it was Prince, and b) she was incapacitated by the sight of Prince working in a 5 & Dime. (Every time I hear this song I get a little picture in my head of Prince sorting plastic combs or with a price gun in the gum aisle and I laugh and laugh and laugh. it's so surreal!)
-- they go riding on his bike down by Old Man Johnson's farm. (how much do I love that the farm has a name? a lot.)

Both Prince and Paul McCartney have a keen eye for fashion details:

+Lovely Rita: Wears a cap (looks much older), a bag across her shoulder (makes her look a little like a military man.)

+Beret Girl: All we know is that she has a raaaaaspberry beret, and when it was warm she wouldn't wear much more. She most likely shops vintage/thrift ("the kind you find at a second hand store") Considering she was "built like she was" ... I'm guessing she didn't look like a military man at any time.

What do we know about these guys?

+ aforementioned fashion awareness
+ Paul likes his women androgynous and if they want to pay for dinner it won't hurt his feelings.
+ Prince will not be hampered by The Man! he willfully slacks at his job AND admires a girl not just for the way she fills out a raspberry beret (alas, I don't think he was swooning over her giant brain), but also for her rebel "in through the out door" behavior.

authority v. anti-authority! hmmmm.

I am sure there are a million more -- if you think of any feel free to leave them in the comments. Right now I'm going to take the decongestant that makes me sleep like the dead and hope my headache is gone by morning.

I predict I will want to hear that song again.

It's time for the Mayday Spring Mix! Is it springy? Well, it's spring right now, isn't it? So YES. I was inventing some fake statistics (no math!) to justify the following songs together (and to disguise the real reason, which is "I need to hear them all one million times right now"), but it got too long and fussy. Highlights: several songs are done by artists I find easy to imagine dressed as dandies/ mods/ flappers/ emigres from Pepperland ( 6, 8, 13, 14, 17); I got 6 of the songs from fluxblog (1, 10, 12, 13, 14, 15); some of them I've written about already, so I tried to keep it short this time (1, 4, 6), (8), (3, 5); ETC. This isn't a perfect compilation by any means, but I've tested it on the iPod, on the computer, in the car, in a bubble bath, and in my head. I still like it!

1. My Moon, My Man -- Feist: The whole internet is talking about Feist and this song this since her album came out this week, so I'll just say I still love it A LOT. It's first so if I'm listening in the car and don't have far to go, I still get to hear it. (shut up! that extra button pushing is exhausting!)

2. Keep the Car Running -- Arcade Fire: !!! I don't even know where to start. The title? It sounds like a phrase falling from the lips of bank robbers or late-night convenience store shoppers in a bad part of town. Of course, in the context of this song it's more of a necessary precaution to outrun some nightmare from the Book of Revelation. But it's not scary -- it's THRILLING! Every time I hear the lyric "if some night I don't come home, please don't think I've left you alone" it presses at a tender spot in my heart, even while the music makes me want to drive 200 mph straight to Bruce Springsteen's house in an almost certainly futile attempt to escape the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

3. I'm No Lover -- Antarctica Takes It!: From the blast of instruments at the beginning it is clear that this is a Revenge War Cry -- negotiations are over and reconciliation is not an option. The singer says what he has to say only once, and if you're the object of the song maybe it's better you don't hear the details...

4. You Know I'm No Good -- Amy Winehouse: Ex-boy? Eggs boiled? Does it matter? (I am still in love with the horns.)

5. LDN -- Lily Allen: When was the last time you heard "a fellow looking dapper, and he's sitting with a snapper/ then I see it's a pimp and his crack whore" sung so sweetly? NEVER, is when. "Sun is in the sky, oh why oh why / would I want to be anywhere else?" indeed. Look twice, seems to be her advice. I eagerly await the day this is used in advertisements for a funship cruise that sails up the Thames and vomits visitors on the shore. She could be a tour guide! It would be a good match!

6. Chrissie Kiss the Corpse -- Of Montreal: This song really calls for go-go boots, false eyelashes and way too much eyeliner. ( I still looooove it.)

7. Hotel Song -- Regina Spektor: I suspect she gets a bratty charge from singing a little bag of coCAine over and over again, but I get a bratty charge listening to her do it, so it all works out. "Come in to my world/ I've got to show, show, show you..."

8. All Together Now -- Beatles: I almost 86'd this in favor of a different song, but I got 30 seconds into it and couldn't do it! Lists? Check. Counting? Affirmative. Alphabet and color refresher course? Yes, of course. Handclaps? And how! Out of tune horn from ancient motorcar? It hurts me that you even have to ask. All together now!

9. Sit Tight -- Field Music: Like a slinky traveling stairs that stop at the edge of a chasm -- it's all coiled up then expands to fall to the next step over and over until it drops away on a parachute to a destination so far away you can't hear it land. I love the piano, the horns, the vocal, the oblique lyrics and pretty much everything. "I'm sick of your talk, but I want you to talk"

10. Think That Thought -- Planningtorock: I love this whole album (she taps a potent streak of dark femininity that deserves more attention than a parenthetical aside), but I particularly like this song, especially in the "stringed up" EP version. It's all very mind bendy in that late-night philosophy through the looking glass way. "some thoughts should be drunk up and swallowed complete."

11. Wet And Rusting -- Menomena: Oh, song! It's so lovely and melancholy, hopeful but kinda fatalistic. "it's hard to take risks/ with a pessimist" -- but of course that's why they're called risks and not sure things. It seems (to me) to be about bravery and generosity even when you're dubious about the outcome. Maybe especially if you're dubious about the outcome. "I made you a present/ you never expected"

12. Before I Knew -- Basia Bulat: This is another super-short song -- she says it once, and that's enough. But it seems more like she keeps it brief because she's still working out the roller-coaster highs and lows of new love rather than because she's busy sharpening her machete, unlike some short song singers on this list. (I'm looking at you, #3!)

13. Get Lucky -- Dragonette: So jaunty! I want to sing it through a megaphone. Well, not really since I can't sing at all, but I like the idea of someone driving around in an ice cream truck singing this through a megaphone. "Hey handsome, we've got it covered/ hey mister, we've gone and done it, just because we could.... we both know the weather's getting better/ so let's get lucky, let's go all the way". It's so charming and it freaking ends with JAZZ HANDS! (they are implied, of course, but I know that they're there.)

14. Billy Brown -- Mika: I almost didn't add this because I was afraid it had a tragic ending that I miss every time because I get so involved with the crazy horns and the singalong "brown, oh bILLy brown/ don't let the stars get you down/ don't let the waves let you drown" demented psychedelic falsetto barbershop chorus that I forget to pay attention. (this happens to me a lot.) The setup is ripe for Brokeback TRAGEDY (married man falls in love with another man) but as far as I can tell there is no fatal tragedy, only the Love is Hard under the best of circumstances so imagine how hard it is for Billy Brown kind of tragedy.

15. Big Wheel -- Tori Amos: I'm so easy it's not even funny. There is COUNTING and SPELLING, therefore I am IN! She sounds like she's having a lot of fun, which in turn brings me joy -- it doesn't hurt that she's got a wicked sense of humor and nobody's going to mistake her for a shrinking violet. (which reminds me I have a funny shrinking violet story! but later.) "baby I don't need your cash/ mama's got it all in hand"

16. The Body's Only Rental -- Katie Dill: This is song is very simply presented (just ukulele and her voice), but it's so lovely -- I really like how she uses repetition and gentle reassurance , but along with a firm but friendly shove to get you started. "a smile ain't a smile if you fake it, if you fake it/ so pick your risk and take it, pick your risk and take it"

17. Shake It Out -- Tilly & The Wall: there is a hokey pokey shout out and tap dancing percussion -- how could I not like it??? Again, another song about pushing through, taking risks, and living your freaking life. "Every doubt in turn explodes/ we all could pass right through/ we all have nothing left to lose"

don't mess with mister in-between

Yesterday was a tragic waste of a beautiful day. I sowed the seeds of my own misery, which makes it WORSE because I can't blame it all on something else. My sister was very astute and diagnosed me with a case of Carb Overload -- I ate nothing all day but leftover pasta and rhubarb crisp. NOTHING. And I wondered why I had no attention span and why even things that normally bring me joy had me squinting my eyes at them suspiciously! If I had been thinking, a little protein would have cleared that right up. OH, WELL. Today is about trying to clear the carbohydrate fog and deal with stuff, not limited to the following:

Problem: Resumes! wouldn't it be nice to fill out a truthful resume? Not that mine is full of lies, but wouldn't it be refreshing for a hiring manager to select a person based on honest statements like: "I can get along with just about anybody for the purposes of work (unless they are a toxic asshole)" or "I do not mind working for someone -- I don't need to be the boss of everything. This does not mean I am lazy" which leads me to "I think the philosophy of "giving 110%" for most jobs is TROUBLED at best (it's like saying for you I will have 11 fingers!), but don't you think the whole work/life culture is skewed if you're asking that kind of commitment of an employee? why not concentrate on getting the most out of the 60% or so (already outrageous) that you're actually paying for?" or "I have a guilty conscience (with no real reason for it -- I'm not hiding any felony convictions from you or anything), big curiosity (I like to know how things work), and an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. I'm a bargain, I swear!" ???
Solution: work on that cover letter.

Problem: Busby keeps bringing slugs in on his fur. It's every bit as gross as it sounds.
Solution: There is no solution! I'm not going to shave the cat and I can't get rid of all the slugs in the world, as much as I'd like to.

Problem: I'm grounded from walking because I have a blister. Why do I have a blister? Because my sneakers died and I didn't notice in time! (they look fine on the outside, but I should know by now that sneakers only last 4 months for me before they are ugly on the inside.) This ugly sneaker phenomenon also explains my mysterious hip muscle pain. When sneakers die I usually start getting pain in my shins or lower leg, but this time (different brand) it was all weird and surprising.
Solution: I have new sneakers! once the blister goes away, I'll be golden.

Problem: my hair. OMG! It is making me crazy. Not poor Britney Spears crazy, but I feel myself becoming more and more understanding of the impulse to shave it all off in a strip mall. (I did try to make an appointment yesterday, but I got voice mail which made me crazier so I hung up.)
Solution: Call back today and make the appointment before I check myself into (and out of, then back into) crazy rehab.

++++

I think The Secret as a commercial entity is cash-generating flim-flam pyramid-scheme bullshit, but I do believe that my thoughts have not inconsiderable power over my experience. Not that I can create things with my mind or anything, but I know that I can whip myself into a negative self-fulfilling prophecy loop when I concentrate on what's WRONG instead of what's RIGHT or even not so bad. With that in mind and since I've spent plenty of time whining, let's give equal time to wonderful things. Here's some current good stuff: Blatant cheer-up songs that I have on my iPod (sometimes I need to have it spelled out for me):

Keep On The Sunny Side -- The Whites: From the O Brother Where Art Thou? soundtrack. This is old-timey and quasi-religious but sometimes it's just what I need. I skip it often, but if I'm in a really black mood I make myself listen. It helps. What I like about it is that it doesn't try to say that things aren't so bad, it just says that the wheel of fortune will turn eventually, and it will get better. "o the storm and its furies rage today/ crushing hope that we cherish so dear/ the cloud and storm will in time pass away/ and the sun will again shine bright and clear" I am far more likely to listen to this than to something that insists that everything is FINE and quit being so dramatic already.

Hang On Little Tomato -- Pink Martini: This one is a bit of a problem since it's about a tomato hanging on until it can be ripe enough to be made into KETCHUP, but aside from that it's really charming and cheering. It has a long old-fashioned summery sounding clarinet introduction, which I like. The message is very on the nose, but when I'm working my way into a black mood sometimes I need to have the obvious pointed out. "just hang on, hang on to the vine/ Stay on, soon you’ll be divine/ If you start to cry, look up to the sky/Something’s coming up ahead/To turn your tears to dew instead"

Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive -- Kelly Hogan/ Ella Fitzgerald: In a lovely bit of synchronicity I discovered that this song, which I've been enjoying by Kelly Hogan and Jon Rauhouse for many years, is on the Ella Sings the Harold Arlen Songbook CD that I am enjoying right now! I love both versions, but I think I have to give this one to Kelly, if only because it sounds way dirtier when she sings it. Especially during the gospel-like call to listen at the beginning of the song: "Gather Round me, everybody/ gather round me, while I preach some/ feel a sermon, comin' on me/ the topic will be sin, and that's what I'm again' "... when Kelly sings it, it sounds like it's not so much that she's against sin as RIGHT UP AGAINST IT which makes me laugh even when I'm in a bad mood. They're both great, though. "you've got to bring joy up to the maximum/ bring blues down to the minimum/ have faith, or pandemonium's liable to walk upon the scene" TRUE ENOUGH!

Here Comes The Sun -- the Beatles: In contrast to the brash and cheery advice of the previous song, this one offers gentle hope. "Here comes the sun, here comes the sun/ And I say it's all right /Little darlin' it's been a long cold lonely winter 
/Little darlin' it feels like years since it's been here /Here comes the sun, here comes the sun /And I say it's all right" George says it, and I (sometimes) believe it!

since that's 4 problems and 4 cheer-up songs, let's tip the scale to good things -- here are a couple of links that I have been enjoying:

In case you missed it (as I did) youtube has, at least for now, a link to the Colbert Report's Meta-Free-Phor-All in which Stephen Colbert competes against Sean Penn in a metaphor contest judged by former U.S. Poet Laureate Robert Pinksky. (I about died when they had him plug his latest poem!) hee hee hee! edit: damn! that was fast -- youtube took it down, but you can watch the Meta-Free-Phor-All: Shall I Nail Thee to a Summer's Day match up between Penn and Colbert here in Comedy Central's much clunkier interface. (it's worth it for the Robert Frost trash-talking alone!)

Miranda July (I love her name!) is hit or miss for me (hit more often than miss, though) but I LOVE this website for her new book. You don't have to spend a quadrillion dollars to be effective: No One Belongs Here More Than You

five songs for friday

Some of the songs that have been keeping me company this week:

Fell In Love With A Girl -- The White Stripes: I did hear this today, but I'm listing it mostly to have an excuse to watch the lego video again! (see above.) "I said I must be fine because my heart's still beating." I love this song, and it's been long enough that it doesn't feel overplayed to me anymore. "I said it once before but it bears repeating."

Let's Take a Walk Around The Block -- Ella Fitzgerald: "I'll sit on your lap/ all over the map" Ha! From the Harold Arlen Song Book, with delightfully clever lyrics by E.Y. Harburg and Ira Gershwin. It's basically big vacation plans for more financially flush times: "the future looks pleasant/ but at present, let's take a walk around the block." It's charming, cheeky and full of Let's Make the Most of Right Now fun. (although did people really used to throw old plates into the Grand Canyon??? I am horrified!)

You Know I'm No Good -- Amy Winehouse: Due to VH1/MTV scheduling, I saw this video about 4 times in the space of an hour, and I watched it every time. When I got back to my computer I saw that I had already downloaded it as a free single from iTunes. Woo! My god, her voice! (I know it sounds crazy, but I swear I hear a little Shirley Bassey around the "I"'s.) She sounds like a world-weary, slightly detached train conductor who knows that all her tracks run right off the cliff, but she goes full steam ahead anyway. (her train is powered by gin.) Passengers have been warned: "I cheated myself, like I knew I would/ I told you I was trouble, you know that I'm no good." I don't know if this counts as schadenfreude or what, but I find comfort here because my own problems suddenly feel less problematic; I am conducting a marzipan train off the side of a cupcake in comparison. (p.s. I love, love, love the horns!)

Chrissie Kiss The Corpse -- Of Montreal: So jaunty, so disturbed. I love the alliteration in the title, the general air of jolly mayhem and the narrative thread-- it's a little short story in less than three minutes. "Nobody in her family knows/ the vile hobby that she chose" ... except "chose" is actually "cho-hose" which makes me love it more, more, more! "Chrissie's such a pretty thing/ gentle as a scorpion's sting/ no one ever would suspect/ that her mind's gone really wrecked." Oh, Chrissie.

My Moon, My Man -- Feist: I got this from Fluxblog a few (six!) weeks ago, and I have listened to it aprox. one million times. I like it a lot. It has actually brokered the end of my grudge match with the full moon. (Shut up. Let those without irrational grudges against inanimate objects throw the first stone.) "Take it slow, take it easy on me/ shed some light, shed some light on me please" Pitchfork has a little video dealie (there are sparklers!) and a streaming version of the song.