frankenstein sewing

I am in the process of frankensteining together a new top. [For you non-sewers out there, frankensteining is when two or more patterns are combined to make a single garment. I don't think it's a term that shows up in Vogue Sewing, but people who sew always seem to intuit the meaning.] In this instance it is the bodice from a dress sewn to the bias bottom of a blouse pattern. The rationales for this particular experiment: it should be easy (red flag! red flag!), the bodice looks great on the dress AND the straps are wide enough to hide bra straps (which was a problem with the original top pattern which has spaghetti straps), and it's long enough to not ride up and flash the world whenever I sit down. Important stuff!

It went together pretty well to start. I had to do some ease adjustments since the patterns were two different sizes from two different companies, but still -- no major hassles -- until I tried it on, of course. I pulled it over my head (the straps were still not attached on one end so I just sort of held them) and it was h u g e on the bottom, specifically in the back. What had been to that moment been a garment full of potential (red and so promising) immediately transformed into something that looked like maternity wear for alien women who carry their pregnancies in the middle of their back. Once my brain got to alien babies, it was difficult to step back into the realm of useful troubleshooting. Here's how the conversation went with my (much less alarmist) sister:

her: how's your shirt?
me: oh, fine! Especially if you happen to be 25 months pregnant with some alien back baby.
her: ...
me: no, really. It is hideous! It's like a circus tent! a maternity circus tent! For aliens whose unborn babies protrude FROM THE MIDDLE OF THEIR BACK.
her:(ignoring my rising hysteria) did you pin the straps?
me: no! What difference would that make? it was gapping like the grand canyon! Two pins alone won't fix that. I'm going to have to add a seam and maybe a zipper, if not cut the whole thing out again and start over. Stupid Frankenstein! why do I do this??
her: (pinning straps) there.
me: oh. right. That doesn't look so bad.

Somehow, the gap disappeared into the bias and now I just have to take it in under the arms (where it won't show at all) and it will be fine. I'm sure there are lessons here about jumping to negative and ridiculous conclusions (not that I've ever done that before!), but mostly I'm just glad that it looks like it will work.