drunk train to cookieville

(doesn't this train look totally inebriated?)

I am neither drunk nor on a train, but I have eaten my weight in cookies today.

The TREE is DECORATED! With 6 days to spare! It turned out really fun -- maybe one day I'll get a good picture. I tried to take some today, but they were uniformly terrible. You don't have to take my word for the awesomeness of the tree, though. The UPS driver yelled up the driveway on her way back to the truck "your tree is SO COOL!" and that was through the window before ornaments (but after lights). (I realize you have to take my word for UPS driver compliments, but I would never lie about a thing like that.)

Further Holiday Related:

1. I still have a lot of things to do to finish my gift-assembly before the 25th, but I'm not TOO worried. According to the TV, I can just buy Cadillacs and hideous diamond jewelry if I run out of ideas and decide to rob a bank and/or sell my organs.

2. Most overused word in Christmas advertising: Magical. Is it any wonder that people get anxious and depressed over the holidays? It's not enough to have some days off, spend some time with friends and family, eat your weight in cookies, it has to be freaking MAGICAL on top of that. According to the television, the best way to achieve the "magic" is to spend a lot of money on stupid shit that nobody wants! I know it makes me practice cursing the tv, but I don't think that's the kind of magic they had in mind.

3. here is my illustrated recipe for Christmas tree lights -- you need at least three kinds. (these pictures are from years past, but you get the idea.):


C7 multi-colored twinkle lights. These are getting harder and harder to find -- it's the bulbs that twinkle rather than the strand. (I can't stand plain old blinking lights -- things like the chasing lights or other fancy patterns give me headaches. Twinkle is perfect. Perfect, I tell you!) I think I'm going to have to order fuses and replacement bulbs online, because all of my usual spots to get these things have let me down. This is the lighting anchor for the tree.


mini lights -- this year I used all red (not orange like the picture), but I put these cool vintage plastic thingies on them that reflect and magnify the lights. they look like tiny explosions and are perfect.


bubble lights: Target had these a few years ago. So fun! They are kind of a pain in the ass because they won't bubble unless they are straight up and down, and since they're top heavy it's hard to get them straight up and down. But worth the effort!

I have found that I love all kinds of variations in lights -- some people do only white, some hate the bigger lights, some have blinking, etc. -- these are all lovely on someone else's tree, but on any tree for which I'm responsible, I need to have the three types listed above. As for the multi-color/ white divide... I think a lot of it depends on what you grew up with. I know some people find the multi-color to be garish, but not me!

Note of Reflection and Gratitude That Has Nothing To Do With Cookies: A year ago I was in the hospital with the evil surprise attack face infection that put me there. I just want to take a minute to say that I'm really, really happy not to be there this year!