Dear Every Guy in Portland Who Has an Abe Lincoln Beard (and there are a lot of you),
At first I thought you were maybe some pioneer timber-town throwback. It happens; I understand. Now I see you everywhere: young, old, short, tall, hipster, redneck, banker, burglar, made of felt. WHY? Is it just fashion, or some unknowable inner impulse? Do you like the idea of a beard but wish to emancipate yourself from the tyranny of a mustache?
signed,
Not Judging, Just Curious
At first I thought you were maybe some pioneer timber-town throwback. It happens; I understand. Now I see you everywhere: young, old, short, tall, hipster, redneck, banker, burglar, made of felt. WHY? Is it just fashion, or some unknowable inner impulse? Do you like the idea of a beard but wish to emancipate yourself from the tyranny of a mustache?
signed,
Not Judging, Just Curious
I see them every single day and I don't even seem to notice, you know? I hope you get some answers to the Portland Abe Lincoln Beard Mystery.
ReplyDeleteNow that you're thinking about them, you'll notice them all the time. At least that's how it worked with me.
ReplyDeletePortland Abe Lincoln Beard Mystery: It sounds like a case to be cracked by Nancy Drew. So all I need to get some answers are a flashlight, roadster, magnifying glass, and a red-headed teenage detective.
My vote is "too poor to buy a mirror".
ReplyDeleteP.s. I forgot to log in.
ReplyDeleteP.p.s Who's your wig man?
ReplyDeleteHA! You crack me up.
ReplyDelete