This is the last week of my temporary position at work. It's weird already! I can feel myself making a little distance and space (like a moat) around me to mitigate how bummed out and disappointed I'll be when it's over. The moat won't work and will just be weirder, so I should probably just give in to the existing weird and let it roll out however it's going to roll out. LA LA LA.
Further should probablys:
1) go to bed
2) stop equating my lack of permanent job with lack of personal qualities. (I WISH)
3) be done with day one wordstock writeup in the next couple of days
But really, I know it will be fine and it will work out and blah blah blah - I just wanted to note the particular flavor of strange this week has taken on.
Good policy! I know we all do it, but shouldn't, because it's like those people who look down at your car because it's not a Porsche. You are awesome whether your job is paperboy or prince of thieves.
ReplyDelete(I think this is easier to do in L.A. where every waiter is working toward being a writer/actor/director/musician whatever. It's just understood that you aren't what you do--you are what you're GOING to do.)
Best of luck, Miss Jen! Thinking of you!
But you still work for the system, right, just not a regular gig?
ReplyDeleteIf you take the lack of permanent position personally howz about you look at it like this-you are too good for the position! You aren't lacking, you're too much! Because I am here to tell you that is closer to the truth. Booya!!!
Thanks, Maggie! I know it's stupid and it is better if I think about it as just a thing and not THE THING. I don't think of it that way for anyone else - I don't know why I do it to myself.
ReplyDeleteYou're super sweet, Daniel! (Booya!!) I kinda still work for the system, but I'm on call, which means no benefits. I just want some goddamned health insurance! It's been a long time.
Sometimes it's difficult to compliment you because there is so much to choose from! Booya!
ReplyDeleteYou're in a tough place. Useless for me to throw out empty phrases like 'this too shall pass'. Yeah, it will, but your regret in the here and now is real. Hey, that moat is real. It is helping. And who knows what is beyond it?
ReplyDeleteForgot to say--love the photo.
ReplyDelete