This month! It has been full of aggravating things. When exposed to too many aggravating things in a row, I become hypersensitized to aggravation or maybe aggravating things sense my attention and flock to my vicinity.
TAKE MY ORDER ALREADY
- Most annoying waiter @ trivia: UGH this guy! He wants to crouch/sit down and have a chat rather than do anything as useful as bring food and drink. Bad news for me and all others at our table: he's even worse at small talk than he is at waiting tables. BAD NEWS. I could go on (and on!), but I'm getting mad all over again and I want to go to sleep pretty soon. I dislike him so much I find myself thinking of Emma from Emma the novel (and movies!) and how she hated Mrs. Elton so much she had to throw a party for her immediately or everyone would know how much she disliked her. I feel like I would have to throw a motherflipping PARADE to disguise my dislike, which makes me feel bad because usually I can get along with people, you know? My job is getting along with people! But I can't do it with this guy - I'm pretty easy going, but he just rubs me the wrong way in every regard. I can't even describe how he closed out our bill without having a rage blackout. I must assume we were enemies in a previous lifetime.
PEDANT'S CORNER
- puce is purple. People want it to be yellow-green (I assume because puce/puke are such close neighbors), but it remains purple. PURPLE!
- smirk. A blog that I enjoy has had the word 'smirk' stuck in its word hopper for a week and it's clear she's thinking of a different (more impish, less asshole) kind of smile but instead SMIRK keeps jumping out of the paragraph bushes and assaulting me with its wrongness.
These are no big deal, right? I don't know why they're both getting up my nose so much. Probably because June is turning me into an awful person.
DO NOT TRY TO HUSTLE ME ON MY DOORSTEP
- I think someone tried to charity scam me last night. It was almost 9pm but still light - there was a knock on the door and when I opened it I found a lady with a clipboard. (This is not unusual in fine weather - tis the pre-election season for door to door do-goodery, which I know I've complained about before.) She was talking about healthcare, which okay! This is an important issue. She said some blah blah blah while I flipped through her signatures. I was willing to sign her thing, but she said she was collecting money and that 'at door donations' were so important. I said I wasn't going to give her any money - she grabbed her clipboard, said thanks for nothing (paraphrase) and was back on the sidewalk before I could put together what happened. What makes me think it's a scam is I can't think of a single legit organization that would leave without my signature or an email address (both of which I was willing to give). Then I realized she had no other literature, it was almost 9PM, and the thing she was talking about wasn't even really a thing, it just sounded like a thing that a lot of people (myself included) care about. So, beware the knock at 8:45.
