until I became a small hill

Shit, I thought, as I stared up at the cloudless blue sky and then blocked out the bright sun with my hand. I couldn't face anything, especially not a balmy April day, not right now. Shit shit shit shit shit. Until that moment I'd never considered how useful the word "shit" was; if I could just keep repeating "shit" for the rest of my life, as a single run-on sentence, I'd be fine. I'd be safe. I'd just lie on the ground and get covered by the seasons, by the rotting leaves and the frozen drifts and the year-round grit, until I became a small hill, a part of the landscape which only the occasional drunken vagrant would overhear mumbling "Shit shit shit shit shit...." 

from Gorgeous by Paul Rudnick, which I loved.

More on this SHORTLY. In an attempt to get myself back to this blog, I think I might post a little quote from each book as I finish it. (going forward, anyway.)

three from today

bumblebee checks out rose

SLUGS. Somehow they don't bug me as much when they're down on the ground doing their thing. When they're up on a flower, though... 

All up in foxglove business!

greetings blog, june, etc.

You guys, I am THE WORST this year with blog stuff.  My excuse is the usual excuse, which is life has been busy (good way) and when there has been a moment of not busy I've been staring into the middle distance and letting my brain knit itself back together (or rotting it completely - it's a matter of perspective I guess).

Case in point:  I just watched all of the only season of Scandal on netflix and I am pining away. Why isn't there more on netflix? Why is it 200000 years until the DVDs come out (september)? Why wasn't I watching it sooner? (answer: I burned out hard on Grey's Anatomy.) But this! This show is in the Revenge plot twist/ turn/ burn it all to the ground mode and I cannot get enough. But the first season is only 7 episodes! Sigh.

More soon - I've got to run as is the way of Summer 2013.

(photo above: the view from Cape Perpetua)

compare contrast, then kitty cat

Photo taken on my phone, processed with the new flickr app for Android / iguana filter. I like it! I like the bowed white border - which you can't really see here because of the white background - and the sort of hazy Perfume Ad atmosphere.  These roses are CRAZY BEAUTIFUL and I love the vase that they're in. Roses and peonies had to be picked because it has been dumping down rain for a week.  This meant bouquets everywhere! Which is awesome, but usually doesn't get done because I always feel guilty cutting a flower. (obviously a personal problem I need to get over.)

Same picture with instagram / mayfair filter. I like Mayfair because it has a skinny border (which sets things off when you've got a white background) and that the color is fairly bright without looking too goosed up. This is close to the color of the actual flowers and vase, although there's a sort of white bomb in the middle of the filter that disrupts things a bit.



OTIS. My sister took the picture with my phone while I was holding him. He's pretty dang cute. (this is the instagram lo-fi filter.)

I saw the sign

OLD SIGN

NEW SIGN

In case you were wondering what the elevation of MT Shasta is, or in case you were wondering what the old elevation sign looked like compared to the new elevation sign. Also: MOUNTAIN! (We were talking about active volcanoes at work yesterday. Of all west coast cities, I think Seattle and the greater metropolitan Sea-Tac corridor has the most to worry about, although none of us are exempt.)

 Personally, I understand the need for a new sign but I liked the old-school parks service look of the previous one.

signed (ha ha), Acquainting Herself With New Flickr and Finding BURIED TREASURE, or as I autograph birthday cards, Jen

p.s. I have been big into the garden lately and have revived my long-dormant garden blog. It's here, if you like that sort of thing.

who made you the center of the universe?

This video is a delight to me: the song is so catchy, the video so stylish. Before this morning I'd read about Laura Mvula but hadn't heard her nor clapped eyes on her. (clapping eyes! What is the etymology of that, I wonder? I will have to keep wondering because I need to leave for work in one minute as in 60 seconds as in I need to stop typing.)

LAURA MVULA! I'm investigating further when I get home.  Until then, there's this.

when all logic grows cold and all thinking is done

love this song!  I only have 7 XTC songs on my computer and none on my ipod - how did this happen???  I guess it's time to go digging for CDs and make it right. I love them in the spring/summer (but also in the fall/winter). They are an all-season band!  but I associate them mostly with green, lush summer.

high five, internet!

Guess what? Nevermind, you don't have to guess because I am going to TELL YOU.

After many years of applying and trying and wishing and incantations to the moon, I've got a regular status permanent position at the library! Woooooo!!!!

I found out about a week ago and have been making the face in the picture above since then.  Some info:

• the job is a category below the job I've been doing on-call all this time. I am quite honestly THRILLED nevertheless. 
• It's 1/2 time, which means I can still sub in my current classification.
• even though it's 1/2 time, I get benefits. Health insurance, here I come! 
• BEST PART: I was able to get in at my favorite location, which is within walking distance of my house! 
• it starts July 1

I know all of this will sound ridiculous to some - a lot of excitement over not much. First of all, it's not not much to me because I freaking love the library and believe in it as a cultural institution, and secondly a job at the library - no matter the position - is very competitive! Not only against many other qualified candidates, but also against the byzantine kaleidoscope of county hiring practices. I was prepared for battle before every interview (the battle of being as maximum awesome as I could muster) but before I could even do that, my name had to essentially be pulled out of a hat. 

ANYWAY. This is the thing that I've been hinting at for a while now. I applied in October, but thought I'd try (for once) not talking about it outright until I found out one way or the other. 

yaaaaaaaaaaay! 

tips and tricks

I have no tricks, but I do have a tip: SPRING SALE SPRING SALE SPRING SALE for Crafty Wonderland. I've gone to almost every one of these spring/ winter sales and last winter's sale almost DID ME IN. I met a friend who'd never been before and we happened to get there at the busiest time and it was a long sad shamble pressed between too much humanity to even get close to tables until the crowd thinned out. Saturday's spring sale, on the other hand, was lovely. Yes, there were fewer vendors, but there was AIR and I could breathe and walk freely. (I bought things for all my birthdays between now and december.) (not all MY birthdays - I only have one and it's in July. I bought things for all the birthdays that are not mine that I buy things for between now and december.)

Winter sale tip: don't go when they open. Go about 3 hours later and the first thing crowd will be gone. There's still lots of good stuff left, don't you worry.

ANYWAY - in news unrelated to tips, tricks, or sales the weather has turned rainy after a few amazing weeks of THE SUN. I love the sun, but I've got to tell you I'm glad to see the rain. It makes it so much easier to sleep! I'm also pleased because I got my tomatoes in and established when we were in the sunny realm of 80 degrees and I believe it might even be possible to get ACTUAL RIPE TOMATOES this summer and I'm so excited I can't even tell you. Even with the rain! they had so much good sun that I believe they're capable of anything, like going to harvard and becoming a quality pasta sauce.

there's more to impart (no more Mama Rose-style tomato ambition, don't worry), but I think I will save it for tomorrow!

the booty don't lie

I LOVE Janelle Monae and the android sci-fi time travel wondaland funky dream world she's creating. Also love: those mod dresses and wigs, the record player, "dangerous accomplice" Badoula Oblongata, "is it peculiar that she twerked in the mirror," color scheme, everything.

see also: TIGHTROPE

spring sky

Clouds in the sky, clouds in the rhododendron. Spring is here in a big way. Happy end of April / start of May!

Questions:

• do you use a feed reader? 
• If not, why not? 
• If so, which one?
• is it google reader? 
• what are you going to do now that they're shutting Google Reader down?

I've just downloaded feedly and I'm taking deep breaths because it's not EXACTLY like what I just left. (I do this every time - when the original Bloglines shuttered I was a mess until I got comfortable with Google Reader. Fortunately, the window of freakiness gets shorter and shorter as time marches on.) I'm trying to adapt a non-attachment attitude and it's almost working. A L M O S T.

But seriously, what are you doing? 

lassos, dancing

Scene from my front yard, Friday: I was out in the garden doing fiddly little stuff that always has to be done. It was sunny, beautiful, late morning/ early afternoon. I was listening to a podcast with earbuds IN.

What first got my attention was Busby the cat running toward the house the way he does whenever UPS rumbles down the street. I didn't hear the truck, but I did hear this whoop whoop noise so I took out an earbud to figure it out. It took me a minute but then I saw a guy on a bicycle riding in big loopy circles at my end of the street, wearing some cowboy-costume duds (not like real cowboy clothes, but basic 50s tv show cowboy cultural signifiers: the hat and the vest).  He was hollering YEE HAW! while expertly twirling a lasso so it went around the bike as he rode it. I think there was another guy filming him, but I don't know for sure.

It was so bizarre and unexpected and goofy and it sent a tickle right up the middle of my mind. A little joy disruption. (later on, I saw the top of the cowboy's head as he jumped on a trampoline. I think they might have been waiting for lawn mower noise to stop, but I'm not sure.)

ANYWAY - That was Friday and that was all, I thought. This morning I was listening to an old episode of Slate's Culture Gabfest and at the end someone endorsed  Girl Walk // All Day. I looked it up and the actions of the protagonist reminded me (in spirit) of the bicycle cowboy. I've only seen this chapter so far (it's part of a larger whole)  but it seems to express that same feeling of effervescence -  bubbles in the still water of an ordinary day.



and here's the trailer for the whole film:

pink, pink, pink, pink moon

Portland is in a (lovely) no-rain zone right now, which means the full moon is blasting through my windows. It's beautiful.  Space.com says this moon (called the Pink Moon) gets its name because "the grass pink or wild phlox is one of the earliest widespread flowers of the spring."  All of which are  natural seasonal events, but when I hear the word Pink near the word Moon, I think of Nick Drake's lovely song.

big hair, tight pants

The movie is pretty much what you'd expect from this picture and that's okay 

THE songs listed below are those required for a Rock of Ages (movie) playlist. I watched it with friends and realized that despite my initial thought that these were not the 80s songs of me or my people (new wave anglophiles), I knew them all. And many brought (unexpected) joy! So we determined a proper, original artist rebuilt soundtrack was necessary. Everything from the movie, except for We Built This City which brings no joy to anyone at any time as far as I can tell.

I started writing this several weeks ago but I wasn’t happy with how it was turning out. So I decided some in depth listening was in order. First listen (apart from the short versions in the movie) was over computer speakers while doing something else - obviously this is no good for thinking about any individual song - my established favorites would stand out and everything else ran together. Next was in the car - there are many car references below and this is why - which is great for assessing how the music makes me FEEL, but road noise makes it tough to suss out particulars. After that, it’s been earbuds plugged directly into earholes which is not always the best for everything, but it is great for helping me hear lyrics. I’m generally not a lyrics person (I know), but if I was having an especially good or bad time, I tried to pay extra attention to see if I could figure out why. I’ve got new respect for some of the lyrics, but some remain forever dopey. (Which is true of all songs from all genres from all time.)

(I go back and forth on whether or not I should have included all these pictures. I was going to take them out, but they make me laugh and I seriously scalded my eyeballs finding them - I've seen things I can't un-see -  and don't want that effort to be for naught.)

Night Ranger

1. Sister Christian - Night Ranger (1984): the big thing here for me is MOTORIN’, as I suspect it is for most people. I can endure the guitar solo because it gets me back to MOTORIN. I can’t say that these lyrics really make much sense, but maybe that’s because MOTORIN’ just takes over everything. If I was making up a story from what I think the song is about: Sister Christian is a nun on a motorcycle road trip who rebuffs would be earnest suitors because her love (after The Lord) is The Road. Would-be earnest suitors take it personally when she leaves them in the dust, but they shouldn’t because that’s just her nature. MOTORIN’

David Lee Roth

2. Just Like Paradise - David Lee Roth (1988): There’s no denying the vital energy of David Lee Roth, except this song is 1 minute too long. UPON FURTHER LISTENING: This is one of the songs on the list about happiness (desired or experienced) with a romantic partner. Dave sounds like a confident adult here - he’s happy, and he appreciates it in the moment. Things are good and he’s going to see where it goes. I’m not picking up any weird rockstar mind games from this. Well played and no longer too long. (Read this interview with DLR  - you won’t be sorry!)

Poison

3. Nothin’ but a Good Time - Poison (1988): Ugh, Poison. I’m trying. This is a little better on earbuds, but I put it in my ears and my ears reject it. This should be a fun song but it’s full of false joy and fluffed up machismo. It sounds calculated, which is an unfair complaint because lots of songs are calculated. Calculation is not a crime! Maybe I don’t like it because it doesn’t sound like they’re even having a good time? Maybe I’d like it better if someone else was singing? It bums me out a little because if there is a Poison song that I would like, this should be it.

Foreigner as young wizards

4. Juke Box Hero - Foreigner (1981): bombastic and dramatic but I still dig it. Just going by the title (and hollering JUKE. BOX. HERO at the appropriate moments) I thought this was their version of The Who’s Pinball Wizard. Like, this guy is really good at playing the jukebox! He picks the perfect songs and they play at the perfect times for his personal life drama! Is the tale of a young man who excels at a task requiring coins in a slot one of the seven basic plots? Stepping away from my wizard fever dreams reveals that the titular hero is playing a guitar (in the pouring rain!) and his songs APPEAR on a jukebox. He’s gotta keep on rocking or he will revert to pre-jukebox hero status, which is bad I guess. I can’t help it and I don’t want to help it: I like Foreigner, with or without wizards.

Joan Jett. I make this face every time I hear this song.

5. I Love Rock N’ Roll - Joan Jett (1982): I love this song forever and always. JOAN JETT! Effortlessly badass, aggressively romantic. Roller rink anthem for all time. Dimes in this jukebox forever and ever.

Pat Benatar

6. Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar (1979): BENATAR! I love her take no bullshit tough femininity. Plus her voice is huge. Put up your dukes let’s get down to it. PUT UP YOUR DUKES.

Lou Gramm is waiting

7. Waiting For a Girl Like You - Foreigner (1982): plinky synthesizers, plaintive wailing - I have a hard time believing that he doesn’t say this to all the girls. But relative perceived sincerity doesn’t really matter when you’re singing along with the windows down. Waiting for yoooOOOOOOOuuu.

Extreme leans into the wind machine

8. More Than Words - Extreme (1990): I know this song was a mellow jam for a lot of people in 1990 but it sounds all my bullshit alarms. (Does this mean I have no magic in my heart? ) It presents as romantic (because there are bongos??), but when I listen to the lyrics they back up my vague unease. It’s not about a FEELING that’s more than words, but rather Mr. Extreme cooing that his lady should just shut up and SHOW HIM if you know what he means and he thinks that you do since he’s pointing to his junk. This just comes off as gross emotional manipulation to me. Ladies, dump this loser.

Warrant

9. Heaven - Warrant (1989): I like their notion of Heaven being some kind of happy domestic life, but I can’t stop making the face I make every time he refers to his love object as “that little girl.” UGH (I’m making it now). Compare this to Just Like Paradise above - David Lee Roth is all “holy shit! this is great RIGHT NOW” and this guy is “someday soon it won’t be so bad, probably. Maybe after I get a raise and you reach the age of majority and your friends stop being such bitches.” Major belt-along chorus, though.

Richie Sambora in a  hat

10. Wanted Dead or Alive - Bon Jovi (1986): SO MUCH DELICIOUS JERSEY COWBOY DRAMA.

Lou Gramm of Foreigner

11. I Want to Know What Love Is - Foreigner (1984): This is the same in general area as the Extreme song above: I want to know what love is/ I want you to show me, but it does not gross me out! These dudes sound like they mean it, I think because the singer is vulnerable - he’s known heartache and pain! But he digs you, girl! He wants to know what love is! He wants you (YOU) to show him (yr boobs, probably. But still).

Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister

12. I Wanna Rock- Twisted Sister (1984): Simple in concept, enjoyable in execution. He knows what he wants, and what he wants is TO ROCK. The end.

Def Leppard

13. Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard (1987): Okay, so this song is completely unsubtle, made of lyrics cribbed from Double Entendres for Dummies. Take the bottle/ shake it up, etc. There is very little mystery, it’s full of 80s hair metal excess… and yet I like it now and I liked it then! I don’t know what to tell you - is this really better than that Poison song above? Objectively, I have no idea. Subjectively, 1000 times better.

Quarterflash

14. Harden My Heart - Quarterflash (1981): so much SAXOPHONE! Is there a more 80s instrument than the saxophone? But this is a great singalong song. In my mind, she’s singing this to the ’more than words’ dude. “You never had a clue, but it’s time you got the news.”

BENATAR

15. Shadows of the Night - Pat Benatar (1979): I love her voice, and I love her whole take on things - she sings as a cool, wise older sister explaining life to the rest of us. As mere human mortals without Anthem Powers, we make mistakes! But magnanimous Benatar understands and will be there for our belt-along needs. I want this to be playing behind a montage where I turn into a powerful yet benevolent 1980s wizard. My cloak will have shoulder pads and my bangs will be impervious to all weather.

Whitesnake

16. Here I go again - Whitesnake (1987): The lyrics are TERRIBLE like a drifter I was born to walk alone and because I know what it means/ to walk along the lonely street of dreams, but so help me Mr. Whitesnake has a really great voice for this kind of song and I have to give it to him. There’s some weird chimey bits in the background that mark this as egregiously eighties, but I must give it my grudging respect.

REO Speedwagon

17. Can't Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon (1984): AAAARGH. I can’t fight this feeling any longer, either. This song is so dumb! “it’s time to bring this ship into the shore/ and throw away the oars forever” (no oars on a ship, my sister pointed out immediately). But I must admit there’s a dopey sweetness to it.

18. Any Way You Want It - Journey (1980): I used to roller skate really fast to this song, so it’s associated in my mind with that giddy feeling. Hooo-oooooooo-oooooooooo-ooooOOOld oooon!

Poison

19. Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison (1988): Even with its cowboys and their sad, sad songs I can only get into this song a little. My guess is that this was the favorite song of whoever held the lighter concession at the arena.

Scorpions

20. Rock You Like a Hurricane - Scorpions (1984): They just want to melt your face with the power of their guitars. Maybe my eyes will melt first.

Twisted Sister

21. We’re Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister (1984): I appreciate how they state their purpose at the beginning and never deviate from it. They’re not gonna take it, so don’t even try to give it to them.

Journey

22. Don’t Stop Believing - Journey (1981): This song is massively overexposed (GLEE, etc.) but it still makes me happy in its way. (Heaven is a funky moose: a tribute to America)  As a band, Journey is tied to many of the Florida roller rink memories of my childhood and will always have a little piece of my cheeseball heart.

Guns N' Roses

23. Paradise City - Guns N' Roses (1987): Hearing this for the first time in a million years while in a car with road noise meant all lyrics except for the chorus were a mystery. So we’re left with take me down to paradise city/ where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. You’re designing paradise and those are your only two requirements? Done and done! BUT THEN I get home and listen closer and of course it’s a song about social injustice and I feel like a jerk. The song is several orders of magnitude better than many others on this list (::coughPoisoncough::) and has a propulsive quality that may lead to excessive freeway speeds.

momentum in my mind

(the photos in this post are from the PSU farmer's market last week.)

I love this time of year. Winter is over, gardening is not just possible but pleasurable and it feels like there is real momentum for the rest of the year. I know the momentum part is just in my head, but really - isn't that where it needs to be for it to happen anywhere else? Maybe not. I bet runners feel momentum in their limbs. Well, whatever works. 

(if you love kale or leeks NOW IS YOUR TIME!) 

My plan is for the momentum building in my mind to just spill out of my hands and feet and result in a lot of things done. It could happen. I know this may sound cheesy, but I think it's the garden that does it. I love how care and work translate to something I can measure with my eyeballs and I suppose a ruler if I really wanted to. (no duh breakthrough: chlorophyll not required! this is also true for any creative endeavor, although the measure is different and the results may not be so in your face as a plant that grows from seed or root to flowers in a short span. So if you would like some in your face results, consider planting something!) 

(sweet or savory tarts! I had one with a lentil curry filling and it was good. She's also gluten free, which I didn't realize until I was half way through eating it. So get on that, gluten free people who are hungry for a sweet or savory tart.) 

Time to finish getting ready for work!  How do you like Spring?