ambivalent, but not about the hat

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Thursday, October 11, 2007
I had my first day of new job stuff today! Well, a couple of hours of filling out paperwork and getting logged into the system and email set up, etc. I find myself feeling weirdly ambivalent about everything. I really, really liked volunteering at my local branch (I just found out that it's one of the busiest neighborhood branches for its size in the entire country). Even though I'll still be involved (now with added $$), it will be different. That's a good thing, but I also think it's okay to take a day or so to feel awkward about the transition. Everyone was super-sweet and excited for me on Wednesday, which was my last weekday there as a volunteer. (I'm going in on Sunday, although I think I'm probably not supposed to, technically.) I've decided that I want to volunteer somewhere else because I like being useful and offering support to recipients of my choice in tangible non-money ways. I'm thinking maybe Film Action Oregon/ Hollywood Theatre -- they show an eclectic mix of movies AND there's an element of historic preservation, which I dig. I'm willing to pop popcorn for a good cause! I'm still deciding, though.

I know that part of this semi-deflated feeling is because I've been so narrowly focused lately -- now that I've reached THIS goal, I have to think about what the wider view is because there's no way in hell this can be the culmination of everything I want for myself. (No job should be.) I started from a position of feeling pretty low, so this will be a good springboard to awesome. Or else! You get me, new job?! No pressure except for maintaining balance on my delicate mental health!! (actually, despite feeling mondo-crazy 2/3 of the time, I think I'm fairly sturdy.) Assignment: figure out at least medium-term wonderful and outrageous plans and schemes. Leave room for vacation, and extra room for fabulous.

and now for TV! There are other shows I want to get into, like the twisty and delicious Mad Men -- but I'm going to save that one for after I write up the Ira Glass thing. (he is also a Mad Men and television in general FAN.)

Moonlight: This is funny, like an inadvertent vampire comedy. I say "vampire" loosely, since in this world they can go out in the daylight and enjoy reading the bible by campfire while cooking garlic in a crucifix shaped frying pan. Our Hero is tortured by guilt and self-loathing (of course), has feathered hair, tight pants, a big belt buckle and occasionally pointy teeth. He fights crime! I did not find this story to be particularly compelling, but despite its egregious abuse of vampire lore (why not just call them something else?) I found it relatively inoffensive. I was barely watching, though.

Pushing Daisies: This show makes me happy. It gets my heart pumping not just from the extra love coursing through my veins, but because it walks the razor's edge of being almost too cute -- my heart beats faster because I WORRY it will tip into Quirky Twee territory, but then it rights itself to Charmingly Twisted and my pulse returns to just beating faster because of all the love. The anxiety is part of my Love Experience. Also, I want every outfit that Chuck has worn, I want more of the Aunts (they return next week!), I want more little details (art school! cheese box! Knitted money cozies! Olive's toile obsession!)... Basically, I'm just happy to have a show that I look forward to watching. Oh, yes. If I had seen the Dandy Lion dress and hat (THE HAT!) pictured at the top of this post a month ago, I would have figured out how to make one for Halloween. I think it's too late this year, though. Too bad! it would have given me the excuse I've been longing for re: white go-go boots. (I would have to go with different eyelashes because yellow would look so bad on me.)
many days later edit: I had to add this tiny, blurry picture I found of the whole dress, so that the hat might be appreciated in context.

Dirty Sexy Money: I stayed awake for all of this one! I like how they have, in addition to the weekly filthy-rich family hijinx, the ongoing mystery of who killed Peter Krause's father. This is the kind of show that I'm happy to watch if I'm home when it's on, but I wouldn't bother to record if I was out. Cheesy sleazy fun.

Private Practice: I don't think I need to watch this again. Everything is either boring or pisses me off due to its high predictability and sexism. Mostly, just boring. I could watch longer to test my theory that as Addison gets happier, her hair will get redder (they did the same thing with Meredith/blonde), but I can follow that in the commercials in the event that I care. (the really disappointing part is that this could have been good! I like these actors! The premise is not without promise! And yet... I think they spun off too soon, but what do I know.)

Not about tv or my work issues but...

Via Bootstrap Productions -- this right brain v left brain thing freaks me RIGHT OUT! When I opened the page the animation took a moment to load and I saw it counter-clockwise, but once it started going it was all clockwise, all the time! These results are not a big surprise, although I do take some issue with it telling me I am "fantasy based" and the thought that I'm a risk taker is HI-larious! although maybe they mean something other than "bungee jumping from a helicopter while eating fugu with razor blade chopsticks" which always slots into my mental definition of Risk Taker. If they mean "will wear purple with orange," then I'm way risky.) (update: it keeps switching on me, although it is predominantly clockwise!! I wonder if it changes if you do something particularly right brain v. left brain? If you look at it, be sure to check on it again.)

random helpful hint: do not store important but tiny documents (such as, say, your social security card) in an altoid's box. especially if the box is in a position to get wet and therefore rusty. Just a little tip from me to the world.
2 comments on "ambivalent, but not about the hat"
  1. That Right Brain/Left Brain thing fascinates me! I bet you can't guess which I am! The only way I have found to make her momentarily spin counter-clockwise is if I focus on the words in the article and start dissecting them into parts of speech. If I look at her out of the corner of my eye while doing that, I can sometimes get her to spin in the other direction, but the moment I stop, she goes back to clockwise.

  2. That's so funny! I can sometimes get her to switch if I think about squares or diagrams (not sentence diagrams, but like Ikea schematics). Brains are weird! But cool.


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