| On
Friday, March 11, 2011
I just got the email tonight that tells me I will not be given further consideration on my application for a regular position in the library. I'm upset. It's disappointing and humiliating and I really don't know what I want to do now.

I typed a lot more stuff, but I think that gets to the crux of it in this moment.

(SEVERAL HOURS LATER): still very disappointed, but the shock has mostly worn off. I know I shouldn't be shocked since there was a huge chance I wasn't going to make it - but deep down I believed that because I love my job and am good at it and am doing it already, that would be enough to at least make the first cut. BUT APPARENTLY NOT. So...  As far as I know, this rejection doesn't affect my job as it currently stands. I hope I can find out in the next few days if it was simply a lottery issue, or if my application was  just that terrible.

Meanwhile, I'll keep on keeping on (because I love it, plus it's tough to get a job in this town right now) but this whole business is like a swift poke with a sharp stick to work even harder on my creative projects. I'm sad and angry, which is always good motivation to return to regular exercise. I'm super bummed, but there's nothing more I can do about it tonight. 
11 comments on "disappointed"
  1. Oh no! That utterly sucks. I'm so sorry! Obviously it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their "casting" hiring procedure--they have an image in mind that fits someone else, which is so very much not your fault and does not reflect on you one bit.

    Anyway you should be writing amazing books! That's your real work. Everything else, no matter how enjoyable or miserable or whatever, is your day job.

    Though security and benefits would be awfully nice things to have, *universe*. Ahem.

    Someone told me to think of your writing like your best beloved whom you can't wait to see. You sneak out to visit on your breaks. You want to text and email and call all the time. You want to share everything cool you see with that person. It's the one you want to be with no matter what. When you're that smitten, everything else falls into the shadowy background.

    I got so excited about all this, I just poured coffee down my neck when I was taking a drink. But hey, I'm wearing a black shirt!

  2. Thanks, Maggie. I'm disappointed (obvs.) but I'm trying not to get too hung up on that and keep on doing stuff. I hope you didn't burn yourself w/ your coffee!

  3. They are idiots. You could charm Scrooge into reading a romantic themed graphic novel featuring kittens, written in Farsi. That's how much you love books and dammit, they love you too! I am sorry that the news wasn't what you wanted, and I would say it's their loss but, like I said, they are idiots!

  4. Thanks, Daniel - you made me laugh and feel better. I know this might sound ridiculous, but have you read The Rabbi's Cat? It's a graphic novel featuring a siamese cat who can talk! No Farsi, but it is translated from the French and it is AWESOME. It's about being Jewish in Algiers and Paris in the 30s yet also about a snarky talking siamese. He's very tell it like it is, and I think you'd like him even though he's a talking cat. (he can't talk to everybody...)

  5. I will put it on my library list. I only have three holds right now, and nothing checked out, so there is plenty of room.

  6. I am totally speechless.
    How is this even possible? Have we slipped into an alternate universe?
    You are awesome and THEY are inconceivably backward.

  7. Thanks, Leslie. I appreciate the vertical WTF!!! I'm going to look into this alternate universe business.... (in either universe we still get to eat nachos and watch buffy, right?)

  8. I am eating nachos right now so I can confirm the first part!

  9. "They" are philistine ass-hats who couldn't be wrong-er. So sorry to hear about this. And I agree with your commenters in all the particulars. Meanwhile... Something will shift from this, ultimately, and in a good way, I'll wager.

  10. Thanks, Billy. Since it happened I've been thinking about the shift and what (and when) it might be - I'm glad you're wagering on "in a good way." I hope so.

  11. Simply desire to say your article is as astonishing.

    The clarity in your post is just cool and i could assume you're an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the gratifying work.
    My page: diets that work fast


Klik the button below to show emoticons and the its code
Hide Emoticon
Show Emoticon