I am blinged out like Mr. T right now!! okay, not really. But I am wearing three necklaces and one of them is made out of a sea urchin. I'm thinking the sea urchin has got to count for like, 12 gold chains. The other two: one Wilma Flinstone fake pearl necklace in blue, one dog tag thingy with words on it -- all handmade, but none by me! Maybe I should resolve to make some necklaces in the new year. I used to like doing it, but fell out of the habit as is so often the case. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
2008, here's to you! You were obstreperous, infuriating, and straight up disappointing in a lot of regards, but in spite of this (or maybe because of this) I found my way to a more serene state of mind than I've had in years. I'm still working on a lot of the big questions (like "what do I want, anyway?"), but I feel more confident that I will find the answer. Actually, it's not a single answer! It's more of a rolling answer -- it has to be flexible. What I think I want and what I really do want are often divergent.
One of the biggest epiphanies I had all year (and I hesitate to call it an epiphany since it crept up on me rather than arriving via divine lightning bolt) was that I had to, HAD TO let go of a lot of expectations. Believe it or not, the most persistent ones were negative. If I was unsure about something (and I'm unsure about so many things), I figured in order to play it safe I should anticipate the worst... this is a bad policy. (for me, anyway.) Reminding myself that I DO NOT KNOW what the future holds and that it just as easily could turn out good as bad -- that was a game changer as they say in the world of presidential punditry. I guess what I'm saying is letting go of a lot of that stuff (which often had little to no relationship to reality -- if you've got a good imagination, worst case scenario can take you pretty far afield into the stealth stress zone before you know it) has made it easier for me to be in the present moment. There was a time when I'd have been embarrassed to say anything as new age hippie dippy as "the present moment" except it's true and that embarrassment is exactly the kind of mental gymnastics that keeps you out of the present moment. ANYWAY. it's getting late so I am going to go to bed. (after de-blinging. I don't want to sleep in sea urchin!)
I'm really looking forward to 2009, but in a "great things are possible" kind of way rather than an "I must achieve XYZ" way. But I still plan to work really hard! More on this tomorrow. For tonight -- happy new year to you! Oh! one last thing: I was working yesterday and the due date for books checked out on the 30th is January 20th. I told one woman they'd be due back on that day, and she said "I will be at the inauguration!" She was so happy and excited, which of course made me happy and excited. I do not expect that I will agree with everything President Obama does, but I know I won't want to throw my shoes at the television every time he speaks, which is an improvement already!
I hope that this next year will push us all to be better, happier, more thoughtful people. I must also say that I haven't felt like throwing a shoe at the tv when I see BO, but I have felt like throwing my tv at a shoe! He isn't even "in" yet and already I am looking forward to Election 2012. I wish that I had at least voted for the woman I actually wanted. That way I wouldn't feel SO dopey.
ReplyDeleteYES for being better, happier, more thoughtful! I also want to have more fun, which I suppose fits into that category, but I wanted to say it separately anyway.
ReplyDeleteAs for BO, I'm waiting until he's "in" before I decide to ruin any heavy appliances over him. Not much longer now.
If he really REALLY thinks that "building bridges" with a low down dirty dog is more important than respecting the people that voted for him I suggest he invite someone like David Duke to do his invocation. The anti equality for everyone under the law is bad enough, but now he really is adding insult to injury. Just rubbing salt in the wounds, I guess. But what can be expected from the president that follows GWB? I mean he is the one that showed that a president can do whatever they want, with the support of a majority of elected officials, but still, you get my point. I think my goal for 2009 is pay less attention to politics. It just gets so depressing. But, on a happier 09 note, I am looking forward to a year full of promise and joy, no matter where it finds you!
ReplyDeleteHappy 2009 Jen! I pity the foo' who don't respect yo epiphany!
ReplyDeleteI think the key is the rolling answer. It's so true!
And you go with your hippy dippy present moment!
BBD -- I am all for a year of happiness and joy. I agree that having that man give an invocation (and the invocation itself, fwiw) is a big problem. I hope that there's some hidden silver lining that will make itself known soon.
ReplyDeleteLeslita -- Happy 2009! ha ha ha -- I love your Mr. T impression! And I totally think the rolling answer is the key! don't get too focused on one thing, or one external thing anyway. la la la, more hippy dippy present moment, coming right up.
Hippy dippy is indeed the way to go. I am just unsure where the "on ramp" is located. That is my January goal. One of a few, but one that will most likely present itself at the least hippy dippy moment, dig?
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