Infectious Fun with Boilin' Bess

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Friday, September 07, 2007
Hey, guess what? I spent this morning in the emergency room! It wasn't a dire emergency, but I am in the midst of another bout of bizarro face infection. (perhaps related to a recent spider bite infection.) Oh, what fun words the doctors use! Cellulitis, and of course my personal all-time favorite: Furuncle. (which is the technical term for a BOIL! I've been afflicted with boils! It's almost worth it to be able to say "I've been afflicted," but not quite. It gets better and better: plural for furuncle is carbuncle! (edit: I just have the one. Although if I get to count the one from before, I am totally carbunculated.)

The good news is I recognized the symptoms soon enough to avoid the whole hospitalization and surgery route required last December. I am on super mega antibiotics, am taking lots of naps and with any luck that will do it. If the whole thing doesn't appear to be responding to drugs, I have to go back so they can jab at my face, I guess. Anyway! Wish me no swelling or pain by Wednesday so I can have my interview without the extra stress of feeling like a deformed afflicted furuncle-haver.

It could have been worse. I knew things were going to be better for me this time (so much earlier, so much less pain) when they led me over to the DRY side of the emergency room (looks like a doctor's office) rather than the JUICY side (looks like ERs on tv with lots of bodily fluids, needles, beeping, yelling, blinking lights and whatnot). Hooray!

Of course once I saw the word "furuncle" it made me think it would be an excellent addition to any pirate name. Here are the few I came up with on my way to the pharmacy:

Furuncle Fran
Carbuncle Kate
Boilin' Bess (my current favorite, since she could just have a temper.)

If you come up with additional infection-related pirate names, please let me know!
8 comments on "Infectious Fun with Boilin' Bess"
  1. Sheesh, man! Afflicted with boils??? What are you doing?!?!? That is just crazy! I'm so glad you went early and will be wishing you lots of speedy healing between now and interview day!

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  2. To be perfectly honest, I am afflicted with a singular boil, but it's the second one in less than a year, so I am claiming the plural!

    Thanks for the wishes! I did not wake up cured this morning (which I must acknowledge was my secret hope), and the stupid thing is even a little bigger, but it's NOWHERE near as big as it was last time so I've still got my fingers crossed that the antibiotics will work. I'd take them all at once if I thought it would help.

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  3. I am glad to hear you are on the mend but I do wonder why you have maladies of the biblical sort.

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  4. I wonder this too, Anonymous T. I'm just glad I don't live in locust country. Or frog country. Now that I think of it, boils are actually getting off pretty easy in biblical terms... (I AM SO LUCKY!)

    But! to update: I do not think I will need to go back to see the doctor! I feel gross today, but it seems like the gross before the dawn.

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  5. The gross before the dawn? I would put that at about 3 in the morning. It is an icky time but the sun is almost up and all of that fun stuff. I am glad that you are looking on the bright side and that you do not live in frog country.

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  6. Congrats are in order for your light and humorous take on this pain in the--well, chin. I am so glad you got right to the doc asap.

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  7. Hee hee, BBD -- Yeah, the gross before the dawn often does come at 3 AM! I'm feeling better today, although I have to keep taking tylenol (in addition to antibiotics) because the infection makes me feel a variety of mild but irritating symptoms (fever, achy, etc.) BUT, I'm definitely on the mend.

    I'm just so relieved that I caught it in time, because the hospital is not just expensive, it's hella boring!

    Thanks Patty! I'm glad too. (if for no other reason than it shows I can occasionally learn from experience.)

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  8. I like Carbuncle Kate. Maybe it's because of the similarity to the word "buckle", but I think it sounds most piratey!
    Arr!
    Also, I'm SO GLAD that you took such good care of yourself on this one! It's so tempting to wait and see until it's obvious that steps need to be taken, by which time it's usually way too late and much more difficult to take said steps. I do this all the time. Back pats to you for resisting the temptation!

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