the end of December

(winter scene from somewhere on Mt. Hood, taken sometime in December of 2009)

Greetings! It turns out that if I want to say something before the end of the year, I pretty much have to say it now because I work tomorrow and have 2 books to finish if I'm to make my Goodreads goal! 

(Northanger Abbey: Almost done! Catherine is sneaking around the abbey thinking the thrilling worst at the moment. The other is a collection of gardening columns from Vita Sackville-West that I can't remember the name of... Anyway - it's arranged by month and I am in December, so I should be able to make it to the end in time.) 

This, the TENTH YEAR of this blog, has been my year of least posting. In the new year I'd like to get back into the habit of a lot of things, of which blogging is one. I don't know. It helps arrange my thoughts, somehow. 

Well now it's after midnight and time for chapter 10. More on books and thoughts and pictures and everything in 2015! Or tomorrow. You never know. 

atmospheric measurements

Hello!

Checking in from planet Jen. I hope things are well on earth.

( ha ha! stating the above under this particular photo of a painting in a book makes me laugh because it maybe implies that on planet Jen we wear domino masks and loose braids and faux-ermine trim on our black velvet ballgowns while getting ready to write a blog post. MAYBE WE DO on some other part of PJ, but on my particular archipelago at this particular time it's more bathrobe and pajama pants.)

ANYWAY. I have been busy! Work and things. I work more hours now and was just awarded a special job on top of my job but still in my job, job which is exciting! But it doesn't start until Dec. 1.
Details to follow if it doesn't kill me week 1. (week 2 I'm taking vacation!)  Not work has also been good! I've been doing a lot of reading, a lot of needlework and crochet and whatnot, and before it got cold a lot of gardening. GOOD STUFF. I love it all and count my lucky stars that I'm in a position where if I want to, I can pretty much.

How are you? I hope that whatever planet you're on is atmospherically pleasing.

OMG - I almost forgot, which is weird because this is the reason I wanted to be sure and have at least one blog post in November: as of November 20 something, I have had this blog for TEN YEARS! TEN! That's a lot. I may or may not say more about this in the future.

okay. that's all for now. I am ending this transmission. I was going to do more photos but then I lost 20 minutes futzing around with them which is counter to my mission of:  get in, get out, but go more often. Be well, comrades.

star ratings of immediate thoughts

TONIGHT'S FULL MOON: five stars. I feel like I could probably read by its light,  which means it's of a particularly fine quality. Bonus four stars: total lunar eclipse. (sorry) (ha ha ha!) I plan on being asleep when the eclipse comes, but I bet it will be amazing. (moon, next time think about falling in the earth's shadow sometime before I need to be in bed.)

STREET SWEEPER: four stars. Good work keeping ahead of autumn debris, street sweepers! I also like the sound they make. I got so mad last summer when I'd think I heard the street sweeper, but it was just that guy riding his lawn mower down the street.

COYOTE I SAW ON THE WAY TO RETURNING BOOKS AFTER MIDNIGHT TO THE LIBRARY:  three point five stars. Full stars for the majesty of nature and the undeniable pleasure of seeing something wild with a big fluffy tail crossing the city street like she owned it, but then this coyote was probably eating people's cats and chickens for which I must deduct.

MIX CDS: five stars.  I hadn't made one in ages but when the radio news got too grim and my sister was having to drive a lot for work, I got busy! The beauty of these is I did not have time to fuss too much. Too much fussing is always my downfall. I pick a random theme and GO FOR IT and it has been fun. I bought a little external drive for my laptop (since it does not have a disc drive) and it works like a champ.

SLEEPING: all of the stars! I think sleeping is greatly underrated and I'm going to go do it right now.

spiderville, tomato towers

This photo is from the 22nd, but it's still feeling pretty true today. These spider ladies have built elaborate webs going every which way ALL OVER my tomato plants. I try not to disturb anyone, but it's not always possible. And let's be honest - they're not worried at ALL about disturbing me. They don't even like tomatoes! I think they're just messing with me, honestly.

more books

Hello again - here are a few more recent-ish (mostly from July because I am behind) book impressions.  What are you reading? Do you dig it? My up to the minute book update is that I'm reading The Bone Clocks by David Mitchell and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Ugh, it's so good. People at work are tired of hearing me talk about it. ("oh, it's fiction? Nevermind." OR "never heard of it" OR OR OR I could go on but I won't. I just reassert its felicity at every freaking opportunity and hope someone will eventually take me up on it.) 

Sex Criminals, Vol. 1: One Weird Trick  by Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky Read July 16

Love, sex, comedy, funny, Queen, crime, color, library, hating your job, loving your job, financial crisis, sex fascists, sex comedy, one cool trick

Explicit but big hearted. Funny.  Surprising. A perfect meld of writing and artwork. 

                                 

Dept. of Speculation by Jenny Offill  Read July 19 - 20

Epistolary, marriage, language, depression, infidelity, fidelity, sometimes the city is not your friend, short, wild animal feelings in your chest

if you enjoy reading about complicated human feelings including ones that are not always positive and if you can tolerate a journey that reaches a stopping point but doesn’t feel like the end (because complicated human feelings keep on shifting and turning and don’t easily resolve), try this book. The writing is beautiful and it’s short!

the two covers: I prefer the one on the right but the library had the one on the left so that's what I read. The insides are the same! 

Midnight Riot by Ben Aaronovitch  Read May 26 - 28  

Constable Peter Grant discovers that there’s a lot more to London policing than he thought: trickster ghosts, magic, wizards, and a lot of other urban fantasy stalwarts. My favorite parts (I tore through this book and couldn’t wait to get back to it when I had to put it down), dealt with the Rivers of London that give the series its name: they’re an ancient, powerful, embodied, bickering blended family and have chosen Peter to keep the peace.

 

Adults with jobs, nobody gets kidnapped, no misunderstanding, their siblings get married, when it clicks it clicks

It Happened One Wedding by Julie James Read in July 

I usually don’t read contemporary romance novels unless they’re funny, but someone mentioned this on twitter so I gave it a go. I liked it! It’s only funny incidentally, but I enjoyed it regardless. Our couple consists of an investment banker and a FBI agent. The closest thing to hijinx is that their siblings are getting married and they’re thrown together in situations with religious parents where they have to pretend they’re not doing it. What sets this apart from many contemporaries is that while they have a little friction at first (because someone is a bit of an asshole), they enjoy each others company! They are equally successful in their jobs! And despite one of them being in the FBI, nobody gets kidnapped or shot. Despite one of them being an investment banker, nobody gets thrown out of the family business. Grown ups in love acting like adults!

this is planet earth

it is finally raining! Only a little, but I'll take it. Everything is crispy and dusty. If I was in charge of the weather, it would rain (gently) for a week and then resume sun. (NOTE: I am not in charge of the weather.)

golden afternoon light

There has been so much going on I don't know where to start, so I will start with the Duran Duran Unstaged viewing that Bec, Ms. Tara and I went to. GOOD TIMES. This was a "one night only" theatrical showing of the youtube collaboration between Duran Duran and David Lynch from a couple of years ago. Basic premise of the original: special concert that was broadcast live with a layer of Lynch on top. Some might find it a curious collaboration but it makes perfect sense to me: David Lynch is fluent in visual non-linear dream language and Duran Duran songs are often lyrically oblique and musically nocturnal. (Playing right now in my headphones: Night Boat.)

ANYWAY - it is a concert film, an art film, and a good weird time. Special guests Kelis, Beth Ditto, Mark Ronson, and Gerard Way all seemed genuinely stoked to be on stage with the band and it was just really fun. Would watch again!



Here's the teaser trailer. You can't really tell, but that's an egg in a rubber gloved hand.


Here's Planet Earth with Gerard Way. (Couldn't find any other full songs on the internet. Gerard Way is an adorable tiny moppet.) I think there was some editing between the time it originally appeared on the internet and when it appeared in theaters for ONE NIGHT ONLY (plus some other nights) because in our showing, Gerard Way had bright red hair shining through the black and white.

Here's the sign after the movie with the marquee turned on!

why not do it today?

Today is Internet Slowdown Day. This John Oliver piece is from a while ago, but his description of the net-neutrality issue is the most passionate yet informative (and hilarious) that I've seen.  Anti-Cable Company Fuckery INDEED.

Write your representative! (or call if you can, phone calls count for more somehow.)

supermoon spider bites

I think a spider bit me on the face or near-face region last night during the SUPERMOON which seems like it should give me at the very least a minor superpower.  (do supermoons feel super at all now that they happen 3 months in a row, etc.?)  Nothing yet, I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED.

Zinnias are wonderful and no one will ever convince me otherwise. So if you've got some problem with them keep walking pal. 

RANDOM FOUR (OR FIVE): 

•I'm sad that So You Think You Can Dance is over for the season, for this was a very good season! I loved this take on the show and how it has changed for the better. The author of that piece has stronger feelings about Adam Shankman than I do, but I 100% agree about the fabulousness of Cat Deeley. She's the best! 

•spider season - I have to admire the optimism of the spider that builds a web across the front door every day. 

•this is the part of summer that is hard. It's still summer in spirit, weather, and fact but the days are getting shorter, the kids are back in school and wah. Winter is coming. 

•Finally watched Season 2 of Game of Thrones. I enjoy it, but it's really murdery.  I have to turn my head a lot. 

•I found a bunch of local garden blogs and am now filled with ideas and a sense of inadequacy! Woo! But I don't mind feeling inadequate to a task (some tasks, I should say)  - it takes the pressure off, somehow. 

Same Zinna picture but different.

and now to bed - I'm sleepy!

GREETINGS and book bits

GREETINGS. (I heard something on NPR recently where an American correspondent was talking to an African correspondent and he was all "hey, hello" super casual and she came on with a strong 'GREETINGS' and it was perfect. Like, it's the only way I want to greet anyone ever, want my phone message changed to it, etc. GREETINGS.)

ANYWAY. I started to get into the bananas nature of my summer, but that way lies mission-creep so I deleted it for now. It will have its day! But today I come before you to talk about BOOKS. I've been trying over the many years of this blog to find a way to speak briefly about various books that I've read. I've tried some things, but nothing made me particularly happy. Then I started writing in a notebook.  Just the title, then a list of top of my head things I thought about it. I'm bringing those here, and then I'll write a little more about it if I feel like it.

I'm trying to train myself to bring my thoughts a little closer together so if someone asks me about a book (not unusual or unexpected in a library) I can pull it together and respond. As it is now, it's like all my thoughts are floating at various depths in a swimming pool. They're there, I just can't lay my hands on them in the space of a quick conversation. (does that make sense? I will trust that it does.)

The list method is something I picked up from Lynda Barry's What it Is. There's a part where she has this enormous word list that you cut apart and use in your writing/drawing exercises. After you select your words, you quickly write down whatever pops into your mind. I've used this in other writing and find it VERY USEFUL.  Here we go:

The Girl with all the Gifts by M.R. Carey  read August 2-3

Dystopia, horror, thriller, science, good teacher, young girl with extraordinary intelligence, failures of bureaucracy, road novel, it’s probably what you think it is

This was a fast read once I got about 30 pages into it. I don’t want to say too much because while I don’t agree that spoilers are inherently evil (or good), I think this book is best enjoyed just diving in. Warning: creepy and gross. But the pages kept turning!

The Book of Life by Deborah Harkness  finished July 28

Creatures, science, family, magic, time walking “the old fashioned way”, trust, loyalty, lots of castles, vampire investment opportunities, knew everyone, invented everything

This was the concluding volume of the All Souls Trilogy by Deborah Harkness; it tried to tie up EVERYTHING, which I think made for an overstuffed book. Nevertheless, I quite enjoyed the trilogy and would be lying if I said I wouldn’t read another installment next year. (As far as I know there are no more installments.) I thought aspects of the story were too tidy, but I really love the world she has built over three doorstopper volumes. (Volume 2 is set almost entirely in Elizabethan England!) (p.s. I heartily disagree with the “Twilight for grownups” dismissals that this series has received and will happily have it out with anyone who wants to bring that argument to me.)

+++++++

I was going to put more books up tonight, but I think I'll just do short little bursts and we'll see what happens. More soon, but not now - I've got to get myself to bed because there are Florida relatives in town and they are running me ragged with their tourism demands! (it's super fun, though.) 

no water

I've had this song stuck in my head since I woke up this morning and since it's great and fun I don't feel bad about getting it stuck in your head, too.  Besides sounding just like a Tune-Yards song, it also reminds me of Tom Tom Club and I think of Busta Rhymes with every WOO HA WOO HA.

PLUS, if you even needed a plus, the video is pretty great.

summer video

HELLO. I had to get one more post in before July was gone until next year.

I had a good July! It's always one of my favorites because it is my birthday month. I read somewhere that people often have an affinity for the time of year they were born  - does that sound legit or ridic to you? I vote: LEGIT.

Anyway - someone linked to this song and video on twitter and I LOVE IT.  It's mega summer guitar pop with a boat and stripes and an amusement park... just watch it.

See you in August!

when your world is full of strange arrangements

(this picture from nine years ago (9!) came up in my flickr stats today.  Have you been to the redwoods? You should go.) 

ha ha! I just deleted a bunch of wah wah stuff and it feels GREAT. I will say that today was a weird one for me and I felt manic yet sluggish at the same time which is a gross combo. But my normal brain is returning for which I am grateful. 

THOUGHTS/ QUESTIONS/ OBSERVATIONS: 

• were 2006/7 peak blog years? I mean personal blogs. It feels like so many people have either gone pro or gone to Facebook and I just kind of miss the old freewheeling days of WHATEVER out in the open by anybody. I know this is largely replaced by Twitter for many and that's cool, but still. 

• I am super digging the Mad World book and am so happy they're already at work on volume 2. MORE ON THIS in the future when I will also include a bunch of pictures and videos. 

• My old computer won't even turn on and on the one hand it's fine because I have a newer, functional computer and I can get whatever I need off of the backup (I THINK), but on the other hand aaaaarrrrgghhh. Just do what you're supposed to do, brick of plastic! 

• So, I've been listening to some ABC (thank you, Mad World book) and my favorite part is always when Martin starts talking to himself. "Martin, maybe one day you'll find true love. (heavy sigh)" ha ha ha ha! The Best! 

• ho ho - I just deleted (or delted, if you like Original Typo Style) something else that is not worth devoting any infinite free space to. Ha ha! take that, THOUGHTS. 

tomato time

June 8 - I planted these about a month earlier from starts I bought at Fred Meyer.  From the left: Bloody Butcher, Sugar Lump, jalepeno (not a tomato), Tigerlike, Juliet, another jalepeno. I've taken to buying tomato plants that produce smallish fruit because I never know if we'll have enough sun to ripen a big tomato.

July 4 - the tomatoes seem VERY HAPPY in their block bed! They have since crested the fence. Lots and lots of little green tomatoes - I'm excited for them to start getting ripe!

Tomato mania warning: I also have a green zebra and a "chocolate cherry" tomato growing in pots elsewhere.

the roof the roof the roof is in bloom

These photos are from earlier this month - June 4 to be exact. I had to go to an all day work thing at the Multnomah Building and surprising no one, I was NOT looking forward to it. I was the worst - the whiny one inventing wild surmises about what awaited us once we got there. I'm not proud of it. I have a respectful terror of the possibility of team building skits and my mouth gets out ahead of my brain.

But you know what? it wasn't bad, really. (NO SKITS.)  At the afternoon break I went upstairs with some friends to visit the eco-roof and it was amazing!



I guess I don't normally think of these kind of wildflowers and grasses to be on an eco-roof.  These are all native plants and don't need much minding. The view was spectacular. It was also the beginning of Rose Festival and we could see the Fleet starting to come in - what a day for it!



I would imagine the eco-roof is no longer at its peak, but it IS open to the public!  If you find yourself with a few extra minutes while in or around 501 SE Hawthorne, I recommend it.

may is when the flowers bloom

WARNING: Megaton of photos in this post! For mother's day my sister and I took Mom to Schreiner's Iris garden. It was sunny and beautiful and a good time was had by all.


it was SO SUNNY that taking pictures in the normal way was not going to happen  - too much contrast, too much shadow. So I decided I would take sort of abstract flower pictures. I think this one looks a little volcano-like.


Deep water!


Lady bug hard at work. She flew away right after I took this.


This looks like a solar flare, or maybe like a monster with no eyes who has a really sweet disposition but everyone is scared of him anyway. (until he saves the day by with elaborate butter sculptures that fool the enemy, somehow. Haven't really thought this out very far.)


I love the ombre effect on this one.


I'm just mad about saffron


for $7.50 you could get a dozen cut iris. Each stem has around 3-5 potential blooms. WHAT A DEAL!


Peony peony peony peony. P-E-O-N-Y   F-O-R-E-V-E-R


foxtail lily detail. They really do look like foxtails when you can see the whole thing.


Hard working bee! (on an allium)


ridiculous ruffles. (I'm in a difficult typing spot right now because Otis the cat is trying to curl up and go to sleep on top of my arms. I have to push his feet off the keyboard...)

f
This should be some sort of airship/fighter in the new Star Wars.  pew pew pew  the pilot sits in the space above the orange stripe. It looks like it probably maneuvers well. GET ON THIS, HOLLYWOOD.


SPEAKING OF SPACE, these columbine in bud look like aliens and nobody can convince me otherwise.


Alien flower after it opens. STILL LOOKS ALIEN. Like, imagine if that was 4 football fields across and floating in the air while blasting historic/chronological songs of the summer over the city. Awesome, right?


Ambassador pink caterpillar heads down into the diplomatic sitting room.




RED POPPY!

currently reading

despite having a million things I want to read someday checked out from the library, I couldn't settle on anything. I'd read a few pages and put it down because nothing was quite right. (apart from the serial novel I'm reading, but I can only read that as it's being released - more on that next time.)

ANYWAY.  There's a new Richard Jury (detective) novel coming out in June by Martha Grimes (author) and I thought I'd go back to the beginning and read the first one. I haven't read it in YEARS so it's kind of fun to meet everyone for the first time again. When I read it last I'm sure I had no idea I'd be anxiously awaiting book number 23 in the series.  This is a super grubby paperback that I bought from the library's bookstore (where they sell discarded library materials), probably some time in the very early 90s.  I think I managed to make a complete set, which is good since some of them are now out of print! Although I think they're slowly coming out as ebooks, which is good.



This book is set near Christmas, but it still feels like the perfect thing to read sitting under a tree in the springtime. (creatures spotted while sitting under the tree: finch, crow, squirrel, honey bee, bumblebee, mason bee, spider, mystery bug, cat.)

spring things

Out the back door this afternoon - I love all neighborhood trees.

I'm pretty sure this is a black walnut. I walk under it on my way to work - it's so lovely! It leafs out later than most.

Sword fern - these grow like crazy here in my part of Oregon. Did you know they can be cut all the way back every fall or late winter? I love watching them uncurl. 

more fern because WHY NOT??

What's new with you? I've been hustling around trying to get some garden stuff done. Now is THE TIME. But then I've also been reading a lot and soliciting recommendations from others. What about you? What are you reading? What's your current hustle? 

Boy, Snow, Bird

my library copy the day I had to take it back

Helen Oyeyemi is not a straight-ahead writer. She deals in the things that happen out of the corner of the eye - stuff you subconsciously know is there (or fear is there), but can’t quite see - she understands the strange obliqueness of fairy tales. It’s so frustrating to read reviews of this book on Goodreads that are upset because the blurb (UGH BLURBS) promised a retelling of Snow White and this is not that. I enjoy retellings, but I especially enjoy when a writer can take the spirit of a thing and fashion it into something new, wholly itself. It’s not Snow White just like it’s not Cinderella - the fairy tale similarities are in the telling and the relationships, not the exact logistics of the tale. Oyeyemi gets better than most the weird dark strangeness of a fairy tale, which is also the weird dark strangeness of life. Mirrors lie, small magics seem possible, curses are real, things appear to be what they are not and are not what they appear to be. But in all of the Oyeyemi books I’ve read (3 of 5), it’s possible for characters to become aware of their narrative in a way Snow White never could. It’s not about Prince Charming, it’s not about being good and pure of heart - it’s so much more complicated.

Boy is our heroine’s name. Her skin is white as milk, her hair so blonde it’s almost white. Her father, referred to only as ‘the Rat Catcher,'  has long soft hands, a penchant for poison and is one of the creepiest characters I’ve read in a long time. Boy grows up, runs away from the Rat Catcher, builds a new life and becomes stepmother to Snow (a beautiful child with a dead mother) and mother to Bird (also a beautiful child). COMPLICATIONS ENSUE. The jacket gives away what could be a spoiler, or could be someone’s point of entry into this book, so I’ll mention it: Bird is born with dark skin and thereby reveals her father’s family secret - they are light skinned African Americans (or ‘colored’ in this book since it’s set in the 50s-60s) and have been passing as white for years.

The book is primarily about women and relationships between women, which is another thing that makes it interesting and unusual in today’s literary landscape. Here’s Oyeyemi in a Guardian interview where she gets to the meat of the story:

"For me Boy, Snow, Bird is is very much a wicked stepmother story. Every wicked stepmother story is to do with the way women disappoint each other, and encourage each other, across generations. A lot of terrible things can come out of that disappointment. I also wanted to explore the feminine gaze, and how women handle beauty without it being to do with men, per se. The women all want approval from each other, and are trying to read each other. I also wanted to look at the aesthetics of beauty – who gets to be deemed the fairest of them all. And in Snow White that is very explicitly connected with whiteness. It had to be an American story because "passing" is an American phenomenon."

The book is divided into three sections (I think! I had to return it to the library so I don’t have it right here in front of me). The first is from Boy’s POV, then from Bird and Snow, and then back to Boy. I really enjoyed this book - its still sending out little ripples in my brain a week later and I expect it will continue to do so for the foreseeable future. RECOMMENDED!

Oh, wait! here's one more quote from the book - this is from the Bird section and doesn't really have much to do with anything discussed above, except how Bird is an excellent narrator: 

The note read BARBARA THOMAS IS FAST and inquiring minds wanted to know whether this was true, and what Barbara Thomas was going to do to try and prove her innocence. Louis looked as if he was feeling sorry for her, especially when I pointed out that the only way she could prove she wasn’t fast was by never kissing another boy until the day she died. But I couldn’t think of a better person for such a thing to happen to, so I laughed. Going to middle school in the same building as the high school students makes you see the reality. School is one long illness with symptoms that switch every five minutes so you think it’s getting better or worse. But really it’s the same thing for years and years. (p. 202)

Boy, Snow, Bird (moon, drunk)

As I am getting this post ready to go, the moon is busy being eclipsed by the earth and I can see it right out of my window which is pretty damn cool. Although all I can think of (of all the moon songs out there) is The Killing Moon, which sounds like it might be a bummer, but it is excellent and as moon songs go it is appropriately dramatic for a TOTAL LUNAR ECLIPSE.  (If you didn't know what was going on, a lunar eclipse would be terrifying.)

Okay, back to business. (There's just a sliver of white moon showing - soon it will be EVIL RED and my plans will come to fruition in accordance with the prophecy! Mwahahahaha!) (just kidding - I have no lunar agenda, but I am wearing a full cape/cloak and a diadem made from the bones of my enemies.) (okay, not really.)

**drunk update courtesy tavern patron who has apparently sloshed outside and has raised his eyes to the heavens* and I quote: "That's what I'm WAITING for!"  while I wonder if it's overkill to listen to The Killing Moon for the manyth more time. Answer: nope.)

FATE up against your will. 

** drunk update: "COME ON, BABY"  He sounds like he's really mad at the moon for making him wait so long, which makes me want the moon to take EVEN LONGER although there's something rather poignant about this intoxicated dude raving at the sky like it's doing something to make him angry on purpose.  The sky doesn't care, man. 



you guys, I really want to hear that song again and then I will put the rest of this post up. You know, the part about the book, which I really loved.

*** drunk update: "Oh, RIGHT ON. Baby!" (followed by inarticulate yipping sound. Maybe the drunk astronomer is actually part coyote and the full moon covering itself is a very confusing time for him. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt, but that desire will evaporate if he keeps at this throughout the entire lengthy total lunar eclipse process.) 

Ooh, the moon's gone all black now! EXCITING TIMES. I was going to post a book review tonight, but now I feel like maybe I should do it in the morning so it's not all gunked up with my total lunar eclipse overshares. The book is Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi, and the pictures in this post are (I guess, now) just teasers. The cover is really beautiful.

Now I'm worried about drunk guy because he has fallen silent. And I can't find the moon at all - did it move behind the tree? Is it dark forever? are the clouds coming in and salting this show? I think it's a combination of all of the above. I turned off all my lights (and turned down the brightness of my laptop): if I turn my head just right I can see the faint moon through the spooky clouds and leaves. I may go outside to assess directly.

report: the fog came in like a proper horror movie. I could still make out the eclipsing parts, but it's all blurry, like I'm looking at it through wax paper.

ha ha! I have made myself think of another song!! It was an accident, and I'm not really happy about it, so don't say I didn't warn you: Total Lunar Eclipse of the Heart  Turn around Bright Eyes

okay, now there is all fog and no moon so I am going to go to bed. Book post (for real) tomorrow!
There's nothing I can do, total eclipse of the mooooon.

PSA Pap Rap

I saw this on twitter shortly after I got back from the gynecologist:TIMELY. The puppet Mary Wollstonecraft hype men made me laugh and I'm totally going to wear a skirt next time - brilliant idea!

Best in-video summary of the pap smear experience: "it ain't a thrill, but it's fine. Honestly, it's fine."

I would add  DITTO for Mammograms.  My advice for making it easier, (which is also stated in the video) is to remember that the people doing these up close and personal exams are professionals who have SEEN IT ALL a thousand times. Don't even worry for a minute.

here's some info on The ACA and women's health. It's important for people to talk about!

Back to book week(s) shortly!

do not recommend

At work we have a staff picks shelf and it's very popular -  I love putting books that I've enjoyed on the shelf and passively introducing them to new readers. Some of us have been joking that we should have an Anti-picks shelf, or a Do Not Read shelf, but of course that would never work because one person's pick is another person's poison and so on. However, if there was one, I'd put Ripper by Isabel Allende face out on the middle shelf so everyone would know in one easy glance that this is one to skip.

I didn't start off thinking this way, of course. I haven't read all of Isabel Allende's books, but I've read at least three (Eva Luna, Daughter of Fortune, and Zorro) - enough to know she's  good and to make me excited to read something outside of her usual area. I was so looking forward to it, which only makes me feel silly now - but I'm trying to set aside that feeling and use my knowledge to warn others.

THIS POST  IS YOUR WARNING.

On the surface, what could go wrong? The marvelous Ms. Allende writing a thriller set in San Francisco? Sign me up! Alas, it was not meant to be between me and this book - we had an extreme lack of book/reader chemistry. Let me compile a partial list:

1. The main character's name is Indiana Jackson, she is a 'white witch' healer/ reiki massage therapist, aromatherapy expert, etc. All of that is fine, but Indiana Jackson for a name is not. I was waiting the whole book for her father (also a character) to say "we named the DOG Indiana" but it never happened.  She is patient, kind, and true of heart with messy blonde hair and a big butt, because of course. I read something that suggested Allende did this to offer a counterpoint to the usual tough crime lady, but this was just as cliche in its own way.

2. her 17 year old daughter is a beautiful (but doesn't know it) computer genius who is running an online game called Ripper. She and various characters from around the world solve crimes related to the game, until she decides to start solving crimes closer to home. How does she do this? ...

3. Her father (Indiana's high school boyfriend who knocked her up when she was 15) just so happens to be a police inspector. A police inspector who has no problem talking about current investigations and sharing crime scene photos with his teenaged daughter. (and apparently doesn't mind if she shares this info with her online gaming group.)

4. SO MUCH BACKSTORY. In historical novels, I get it. In a thriller, it kneecaps the momentum if every time any character tries to cross the page, first they have to unload their entire life story, work history, and opinion of the white witch (if they have one) before they are permitted to perform their plot related duties.

5. The book was almost 500 pages, and I don't think the plot really started moving at all until after page 300.

6. Most characters are paper thin, the cliches run the gamut from borderline offensive to straight up offensive.

7. When the plot finally started creaking into motion I thought "Oh my god, the killer better not be XYZ because it is way too obvious"

8. Guess who the killer was!

9. There's a former Navy Seal who is also romantically interested in/obsessed with Indiana (like every other man in the book), he's also a computer expert and CIA/NSA freelancer (of course), who performs constant acts of physical endurance like swimming in the bay in winter and riding his mountain bike to Mars. But it's not enough that he's a Navy Seal, he's not just from an elite unit, he's from Seal Team Six!! He's got a prosthetic leg and a retired active duty dog named Attila, who has metal teeth. (Attila should have his own book and get himself as far away as possible from the rest of this mess.)

10. Did I forget to mention Indiana's rich, much older winery-owning playboy boyfriend? Because she has one. He takes her to art galleries and the opera where she makes him feel young and virile again  because he gets to explain things to her like the droning docent boyfriend every woman wishes she had - he loves the contrast of his cerebral culture blah blah to her earthy white witch blah blah so much and this works so well for him he doesn't have to take pills for his erectile disfunction. (!!! ) (my eyes will never be the same after reading the limp/tumescent history of the playboy boyfriend.)

11. I was explaining the plot to a friend who had expressed interest in the book, and he said it sounded like a Jackie Collins novel from the 80s. I have yet to hear a more perfect encapsulation.

12. There is a plot device kitten in this book and she is saddled with the name Save-the-Tuna. Kitten, you should get your own book with Attila and the first thing you should do is ride your motorcycle to the animal courthouse and change your name. I bet the two of you would be better crime solvers, all things considered.

13. I'm not even listing some of the most egregious plot devices because I don't want to spoil anything if for whatever reason this does sound good to someone. But trust me - it's not so bad that it's good, it's just a long slog to the point where the book has finally run out of pages. I would have quit it much sooner if it hadn't been Allende.

book week

I went digging around through my flickr pictures for some appropriate general book pictures and found this one - I pinched its cheeks and cropped out the pile of sneakers that used to be at the bottom; now you can just see the top of ONE sneaker and I'm unreasonably pleased with myself.

SO, right - I have decided that if last week was pictures of plants week, this week could be book week! It's my blog and I'll do what I want.

What are you reading? What are you excited to read? Any duds lately? I have my answers to these questions AND MORE.

Let's start off the week with an easy one - what are you reading? (I almost started off the week with only the above, but my goal is to quit being so squirrelly about writing about books.) As I was saying...

I just started reading Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi. I loved both Mr. Fox and White is for Witching, but find myself not really in the mood to read this one, but read it I must because I checked it out from the library and it's due soon and a bunch of Johnny Come Latelys have put it on hold in the meantime. Why not in the mood? I don't know. I think I just want to read mysteries right now, which is weird because I went years without them.

But I started it and I'm loving it so far even though I know it's going to make me work.  More on this after I've finished it. Isn't the cover beautiful?