is Mercury in retrograde or something? I have this pit of crankitude sitting in the middle of my chest. I am cranky about things that normally don't bother me, or things that I know I am wrong about (which makes me crankier yet). I just want to grouch at everyone, throw a giant temper tantrum, or cry me a river. I don't know why. I hope it goes away soon, as I can't even stand myself when I am irrationally cranky, let alone watch other people thinking "what a goddamned cranky bitch." Grrrrr. Even my usual fool-proof crank-busters are not working! (sing along tunes, diet coke, read something funny.) Everything bugs me! Example: somebody within hearing distance of my open windows is playing some godawful noodly flute music. I want to find a flute and break their stereo into little tiny pieces with it! is that rational? NO. and oh yeah - open letter to the asshats who go behind the tavern to puke and/or chat loudly with other assholes on their cellphone: I hate you. thanks to physics or some other thing I am too boneheaded to understand, this noise travels - right to my window. You better hope I don't still have the flute I (hypothetically) used to break the neighbor's stereo, or you're in for an ass-whupping.
Internet Orchid Fanciers - you don't know who you are, but I do. If you could dial back the pretension to merely 11, I would be ever so grateful. And while I'm at it - white tank top - what the hell happened to you? When did you get all baggy and stretched out? WIP? What's the matter with you? Things were going so well, and then you had to start stinking up the joint with your inconsistent characterizations and lame transitions.
Bah! Mercury better get back where it belongs. I can't stand this much longer.
Internet Orchid Fanciers - you don't know who you are, but I do. If you could dial back the pretension to merely 11, I would be ever so grateful. And while I'm at it - white tank top - what the hell happened to you? When did you get all baggy and stretched out? WIP? What's the matter with you? Things were going so well, and then you had to start stinking up the joint with your inconsistent characterizations and lame transitions.
Bah! Mercury better get back where it belongs. I can't stand this much longer.
So did writing a hilarious blog post help you at all? It made me giddy with laughter so if not, just know it wasn't all wasted energy.
ReplyDeleteHope you're feeling better especially since you are on a ROADTRIP!!!
Hee hee! I think I was still cranky by the end of it, but I do honestly believe that writing an open letter to my tank top really helped end The Cranky Times sooner.
ReplyDelete