birthday weekend, continued

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Saturday Bec and I headed to the beach in what was supposed to be a lovely day of just sitting and reading on the beach (one of my favorite things). Unfortunately, the weather did not cooperate. While it was over 90 in the city, it was fighting to be 60 degrees at the coast. overcast We came back early.
Sunday, we went to brunch at the Powellhurst Compund. What I did not know was that in addition to the deligtful M'tonia of P'hurst, Citizin R, and my sister, they invited two other good friends! It was a great day, even though I ended it in a food coma.
9 comments on "birthday weekend, continued"
  1. I'm glad you liked the brunch! MQ didn't think you would like a surprise (which is what I really wanted to do), so I'm glad we at least got to surprise you with the guests!

  2. It was the perfect compromise!! This is how surprises normally work in my experience: the surprisers start acting squirrely, even just a little. I notice and figure something must be up (especially if it is anywhere around my b-day) and it is therefore not really a surprise. OR, they are acting squirrely, and it turns out that they are just weird and then I get disappointed. It is retarded, I know. But this was the perfect balance of knowledge and surprise! And baked foods!

  3. So it's not so much surprises as squirreliness that puts you off? That makes sense. I like surprises, especially planning them. As much as I yap about birthday month and gifts for me, I actually do secretly enjoy the planning of gifts and food for others more - maybe because I've had some good birthday surprises and really enjoyed them.

    I remember one time in Irvine when I was totally convinced that nobody but Jonna knew it was my birthday. She offered to take me out to lunch, and then we got there and everyone I knew was there. That was fun!

  4. That does sound like fun! But that is a whole different scenario in my mind. Wasn't it the kindness and thoughtfulness of what Jonna did that meant more to you than the surprise itself? I am expressing myself poorly and that just seems to keep perpetuating itself. What I mean to say is that a) I am a good guesser and putter together of clues so it is really hard to ACTUALLY surprise me (this is not a challenge), b) I take more pleasure in the fact that my friends would want to put something together for me than I do in the "surprise" factor of it all. Does that make sense? Do I sound like an ass? It sounds less assy in my head. Does it make it any better to know that I like planning things for people too?

    I also think there is a distinction between doing something for people that they weren't expecting, and a "surprise", but I might be splitting hairs. It's weird in my brain, is all I can say in my defense. Just today someone told me that my ideas were like 2AM stoner talk. Only problem was it was 4pm and I am not a stoner!

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  6. I think that maybe this is just one of those areas where we're different. I see what you mean about appreciating the kindness of what Jonna did, and that was certainly a factor. It was also a factor that everyone I knew cared enough to take the time to plan and hide it from me, so I'd have the enjoyment of being surprised by seeing them all there at a party when I was only expecting a quite meal with her.

    No, you don't sound like an ass. We're just different. My mind is not quite on wrapping itself around the difference between a "surprise" and "something one isn't expecting". For me, they're pretty much the same thing.

    That said, everyone has their own preferences, so it's not really a big deal to me either way. It's all good. As long as you enjoyed your birthday, that is really all that matters in the end. Happy Birthday month!

  7. Hee! I think this is one of those things I can explain better in person. I hear what you are saying. I agree that this is one of those things that is neither right nor wrong, just one of those areas where "different people like different things" (shocking, I know).

    And, in my defense (because oddly I do feel a little defensive, which may be a window into why I am not huge into surprise parties), I really DO see a difference between "SURPRISE!" (example: every surprise party on TV ever) and having someone do something nice for you that you weren't expecting (example: a package in the mail, a friend swooping by to take you to lunch, etc.). That tears it. I might as well just pack up my bags and head for the hermit hut or cave I am apparently destined for. weeps, but doesn't have to worry about people jumping out from behind the the rocks in the Hermit Cave or furniture made from tires and and twigs in the Hermit Hut.

    Actually, if you can bear to read another word about it - I think I may have just put my finger on one of the reasons those sort of surprises don't do it for me - they seem to carry expectation with them. The expectation that I will be surprised, that I will be happy about it, etc. I guess this is one area where I like a little bit of transparency, or at least semi-transparency. Sorry I am such a freak. Thank you for being my friend anyway :) AND, thank you for having brunch for me which was perfectly delightful in every way.
    Thinking about it more (I know, My God! why won't she shut up!!) - the Jonna lunch surprise party wouldn't have bugged me, and in fact probably would have delighted me. It is very like what you did for my birthday brunch (which was, I must reiterate, delightful).
    What would have bugged me is if it were my birthday and someone insisted on driving me around to somewhere they wouldn't tell me about (at all), or a place I know and they wouldn't tell me why, and the whole day prior was a bunch of secret phone calls and people not talking to me and basically ignoring me so I won't "suspect" or whatever. And yes, I've seen it happen. There we go! The root of my surprise psychosis. Maybe I'm not destined for the hermit hut after all.

  8. And thanks for the Birthday Month wishes! It has been an amazing b-day month and I want the record to show that in addition to me whinging on and on about what "is" is or whatever.

  9. Happy Last Day of your Birthday Month! Someone once threw me a "surprise" party but they were soooo bloody obvious with their secret phone calls and weird suggestions for what we should do that day I felt sorry for them and just played along. To this day this friend thought I was TOTALLY surprised - ha ha. It made him really happy so I couldn't let on that I knew the whole time. And it was really sweet. But I was 21 then and these days, I'm with you. My issues are control ones though. I just like to know what I'm headed for so I can be emotionally prepared. If I'm prepared for nice and quiet and I get boisterous and busy, then for one thing I'm sure not to be dressed appropriately and for another the shock to my emotional balance will make me cranky. At least at first until I can shift gears, which is something that I normally don't like to do in public. Private surprises are nice, though, like when Dag came to my front door with a chocolate pie before work on my birthday a couple of years ago. You're lucky you've got filters who will stop surprises for you. I believe I had originally wanted to do your beach birthday surprise-ey (why, I'm not sure since I personally wouldn't want to be surprised), and MQ said Uh-UH! So I compromised with surprising you with an invite in the mail which of course backfired when your mom and Bec got theirs a couple of days before you did! WHOOPS! Dang USPS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTH! I'm so glad July gave you some nice weather there at the end!


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