things I hate (short shallow list)

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Sunday, December 04, 2005
because it's not always sunshine and kittens - here are a few of my least favorite things:

1. The use of the name "Madonna" and the word "reinvention" in the same sentence, except for me right now. Come on people! Get a thesaurus.

2. Local News. Dear Northwest Newschannel 8, it is not local news to me, a resident of Portland, Oregon that Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Anniston got pulled over suspicion of DUI in ARIZONA. I don't even think it would be (local) news if they were arrested for it. If they had somehow driven into the grand canyon and parachuted to safety whilst singing Portland, Oregon by Loretta Lynn? - now that I would want to know about, but only because it would be so weird. The added salacious whisper that they are "rumored to be seeing each other" is so not news I don't even know where to start. So just stop it. Notice how I am not mentioning your "Storm Center?" that is because this is the short shallow list.

3. The word Slacks. How about trousers? How about pants? The word slacks is just evil and makes me recoil every time I hear it. SLACKS! ugh.

4. Jewelry that can be bought at the mall. Who buys this stuff? It is so ugly! It looks like it was crapped out by Santa's least imaginative elf. Under normal circumstances it can be avoided, but the holiday gift giving season means it is in my face every time I watch TV and every time I get the mail. I want to strangle someone with a tennis bracelet.

5. Dark by 4:30. It's just not fair. blah blah seasons, blah blah earth on its axis, blah blah blah. I know that the Winter Solstice is right around the corner, and with it will come longer days - but it can be so overcast here it doesn't really make any kind of immediate difference.
8 comments on "things I hate (short shallow list)"
  1. I would like to add a few things that your list reminded me of. Firstly, speaking of Bad Pants...Coulottes (sp). I have seen these all over the place lately and they are awful. Just say no!!
    I'm with you on the weather. Maybe this would be a great time for a last minute vacation to LA! Yahoo Travel has some great deals to those parts for quick long-weekend trips!

  2. I think I need a trip to the surface of the SUN! I can't even imagine how much I'll be whining in Feb, when it stays light longer (or so they say! it is impossible to tell) but it is raining and/or sleet and gross weather non-stop. My Feb. list will no doubt have those people who say "but we need the rain" on the 111th consecutive rainy day.

    And you are SO RIGHT - coulottes are a crime against clothing unless you are aged 6 years or younger.

  3. I had to think of you today as I looked out the window at exactly 4:30 p.m. and saw that it was already getting dark out. I really am looking forward to my trip to SoCal next month. We're going to spend two days in Huntington Beach (right down the street from my old apartment no less!) and then 5 days in Los Angeles, though that is the work part of the trip. Still, it's pretty cool that my company is paying the air fare for the whole thing, so it's only costing me 1/3 of a hotel room and car rental.

  4. D'oh! I forgot you were going down there for work. Devil-woman!

    Seriously though - that is so cool that you can go for work. Sure, you have to go to WORK, but at least you can travel from hotel to convention center in the sun! Are you going down early just for fun?

  5. I and two (maybe 3) other people are going down a couple days early. We're going to rent a car and spend a couple days in my old neighborhood, then drive back up to LA for the 3 1/2 days of training. I think it (the vacation part) should be fun. In my experience corporate trainings are universally LAME and filled with hateful pseudo-philosophy pep talks and role playing interspersed with moments of fun. To give you an idea of how loathesome some of the activities will be, one of them requires me to pack kakhi pants and a polo shirt, which are so NOT my style. I've negotiated my way down to a kakhi colored skirt (which I actually do already own) by refusing to buy a pair of pants unless I can expense them. This was done on the grounds that I will only ever wear for a single hour. So far they're unbudging on the stupid shirt. On the up side, the shirt is free and I can burn it as soon as my dramatic debut as a sales person at a kick-off luncheon is over. Still, I think the whole thing will be a nice break. It's pretty cool, since the only part that will cost me anything (and even that is only 1/3 of the price) are the two extra days & the rental car. Work takes care of the rest, so I really shouldn't complain. stupid polo shirt...

  6. good for you for standing firm on the kakhi pants thing. It will give you the inner strength needed for those peppy role-playing parts of the corporate training.

    I am so glad you are going to have some fun before the work stuff! I mean you may as well, right?!? And even better that you can share the expenses. What do you think you'll do while you're down there? I can't remember where it was exactly, but I always remember when I went to visit you that one stretch of beach (it had a walkway and stuff - maybe Laguna Beach?) that was SO BEAUTIFUL it was insane. So I think you should go there for sure. And take lots of pictures!!

  7. Well, we're definitely going to Laguna Beach and probably Balboa (where Crazy did her walking into her watery doom routine). I'm trying to get them on board with visiting San Juan Capistrano, but am having problems with one individual who doesn't want to do "historical stuff". I think she's afraid she might learn something thereby causing her head to explode, which would be pretty messy, so I guess I won't force it.

  8. Bah! It's funny how some people make "historical" sound like scurvy or boils or some other plague. You wouldn't want her there anyway - she would scare all the swallows away with her heavy sighs and audible eye-rolling. I am sure you will have a very good time anyway - you can use it as prep work for your next visit. Are you planning on taking your camera? I hope so!


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