true confessions of miscellaneous j. random

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Saturday, May 27, 2006
I have been in a confessional mood lately -- this is not a normal or native state for me. I generally keep to myself (in an inoffensive easy to ignore way, not in a living in a shack with no power unibomber way), but lately I've been feeling blurty. This causes me no small amount of alarm, but I've decided that if I continually avoid everything that alarms me, I will probably END UP in a shack with no power. With that in mind -- welcome to my random list. I apologize in advance. (confession #1 -- I LOVE LISTS)

Currently Listening to, right this second: Blondie's Greatest Hits (One Way Or Another, Dreamin') it's so good, you should listen to it Right Now!

Currently Reading: Chronicles vol. 1: Bob Dylan (I am freaking out how good this is and how it is not at all what I expected)
Of Love and other Demons: Gabriel Garcia Marquez (this is taking me longer, but I think it's just a matter of me not giving it enough contiguous time)
up next: either the Best American Non-Required Reading anthology OR
one of the two books I got at Powells yesterday OR something else that catches my eye between now and then.

some blog posts that called out to me recently:

Erin at Dressaday talking about dressing for joy (and joyful pursuits in general)plaid = joy

Meg Cabot talking about how you get good at what you love (practice!) in an entry titled Quitters Do Win

Will Shetterly at it's all one thing discussing one of my favorite subjects, happiness. (he also has some great posts about the class divide in this country, which is a subject I'd like to return to later)

which brings me to...

I'm thinking of going back to school. I've probably mentioned that before. It's so cliche -- mid-30's slacker seeks PURPOSE. Bah! But you know what? I can't not do it just because I think it's a cliche -- that's even MORE lame. Time does not move backwards, so if I dither about it another five years it just puts me five more years in the hole. What sort of degree? MLIS -- library school. There are a lot of reasons why I think this is a good move for me. One, it's movement (I've become so STUCK). There are no schools that offer this degree in Oregon, so I would be forced to literally move, at least for the length of the degree program. Two, I love the library as a patron (obviously) and believe that it plays a crucial but undervalued role in society. I also like to be, as glamourous as it sounds, Helpful and Useful. Helping people get information seems like a very Useful thing indeed, particularly in the times we live in. I have many qualms, but I think they are mostly panic related and can be defeated if I am systematic about it. (I'll never get in! I'll never pass the algebra section of the GRE! I will be eaten by alligators! etc. etc.)

As my good friend Linda pointed out, what do I have to lose? I'm not married, I don't have kids, I don't have a mortgage or a career -- what's the harm in trying? Linda was also the one who pointed out to me that my near constant feelings of agitation and disquiet lately are probably due to me finally being AWARE that I am not happy with the status quo, and that they will not go away until I commit to doing something about it. Sigh. I alternately get all wound up or exhausted just thinking about it, but I suspect that's normal.

and now for more randomosity!

hot pink toes: the color I am wearing right now is called SHOCKING! (I like to think it is a tribute to Elsa Schiaparelli, but it is probably just called that because it is very bright)

walking: I may be addicted. A poor choice in socks gave me a HIDEOUS blister that kept me from walking for about 3 days. I realized then how much I enjoy and look forward to it, whether it's raining or not. I take my ipod and the time and the miles just fly by.

I watched Funny Face last night. Audrey Hepburn is so lovely, but I still wanted to clothesline Fred Astaire. But LESS than before. I think that it may just be residual Silk Stockings effect. (side note: I have been getting many hits from people googling "stockings." I can't help but think me talking about Fred Astaire as Alpha Asshole (Tapdancing Division) isn't really what they're looking for... ) On the other hand, I recently watched The Awful Truth and it was SO FUN! Look at this picture -- don't you want to know what's going on there? (hint: These two characters are in the process of getting a divorce, Ralph Bellamy is just out of the frame of this picture looking his moony Ralph Bellamy way at Irene Dunne, while Cary Grant's date is doing some bubble and fan dance on the stage. SO FUNNY!!)
9 comments on "true confessions of miscellaneous j. random"
  1. School is fun during mid-life. Things are amazingly less annoying than they were before, although new things are just annoying as those things you thought would be annoying but are not...wait...does that make sense? Whatever, school is good and being cliched is OK. At least you will be a part of a really awesome club, you know?

  2. You make an excellent point! And it totally doesn't look like a cliche on you, so maybe I'm just being ridiculous. (which I'm starting to think is some sort of CALLING for me. I should stop fighting it and just go with it)

  3. Gad, people go back to school at all ages. (Even, gasp! 67.)

    Jen, you have many talents and skills which give you an edge, whatever you decide to do. You are considering a new path, but you are well able to live by your wits.
    Bon voyage!

  4. Cliche is being in a crappy job, knowing that it doesn't fulfill you and that you're not happy and not doing anything about it! Besides, even if going back to school were cliche (which I totally do NOT think it is!), who cares? It's your life. Nobody has to live it but you, so why worry about it, if it's what makes you happy. Anyway, there is NEVER anything wrong with educating yourself. When I taught, I had students in their 70's who were going back to get degrees for no other reason than self-enhancement. The only thing I ever thought about them was that they were impressive and that I hoped that I'll still have such a curiosity and passion for learning things when I reach that age. If you think getting an MLS will make you happy, I say DO it! I've been in enough grad programs to know the anxiety of getting accepted, moving, starting someplace new, but, truly, unless it involves moving to the prairie, it is totally worth it! You'd make a great librarian!

  5. I should be embarrassed that you've cracked my crazy code so easily, but instead I'll just say thanks and that you're all very sweet.

    Also, I can't believe no one has commented on the awesomeness of Elsa Schiaparelli!!! She invented Shocking Pink, for god's sake!

  6. Viewed today the divided skirt E.S. designed for Lili de Alverez is conservative in the extreme. We've come a long way, Baby. But Shocking Pink lives on!

  7. Sorry I missed all the fun when you snuck your confession into a list! You will rock at anything you do, but please watch out for alligators all the same!

  8. Hee! How can it be considered SNEAKING when the title of the post has the word 'confession' in it? Thanks for the rockin' vote of confidence AND for the alligator concern! (and welcome back! I hope your trip was a good one)


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