mermaid grotto cheat

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Wednesday, June 30, 2010
green seaweed

I backdated this to JUNE because I wanted to get this in under the wire so I could have 13 posts for June. Now you know my shameful secret. I'm writing this from the glorious future of....JULY. Twenty one minutes in and it's not so bad.

ANYWAY. This picture is from Harris Beach, Oregon, which is just north of the California border. V. v. pretty! I thought this looked quite mermaid-like, or pirate-like. Or mermaid/pirate-like if you prefer. Maybe you walk into the water here down a long slippery seaweed covered staircase (the mermaid pirates don't keep it clear of slippery seaweed because they don't take the stairs and quite frankly they're slatterns.), and you walk down, down, down and the ocean gets darker and colder but the stairs are still there so you keep on stepping. It's beautiful, but then it gets scary. WHERE IS THE SINGING CRAB? you might wonder (because you are delirious). OH, THERE HE IS! you realize (because you are delirious). Step, step, step. Down, down, down. Maybe this was a bad idea. What did the innkeeper say? Something about "whatever you do, don't follow any mermaid pirates down the stairs." That guy was a jerk. The water is really dark now, the fish are getting bolder swimming right by, bumping you as they go. To your right, electric eels, to your left swimming teeth. Step, step, step. You've gone too far to turn around now. Gloom, doom, pirahnas. The stairs level out for a bit and you walk on the ocean floor. Once you're down here, it's not so bad. Coral, shipwrecks, a skeleton with a fishbowl on its head. You feel better - that guy, he had problems. You, you've got a plan: get to the bottom of the stairs, go to the awesome mermaid pirate party promised on the flyer you found in the grotto. Was it a trick or a trap? It's a concern, but now you're committed to this plan. You start to hear music. Darling it's better down where it's wetter, under the sea? You wish! Ethel Merman all the way. (thanks to her name, Ms. E. Merman is popular in these parts. you later learn that her voice really carries underwater.) There are colored lights, bubbles (so many bubbles). The stairs no longer seem slippery. Giant luminescent anemones glow, the fish seem less hostile. There is suddenly a drink in your hand which might seem a bit redundant at the bottom of the ocean, but it's been a lot of work and worry to get there. Thirsty work and thirsty worry. There's deepwater algae hanging like streamers. You're pretty sure it's too deep for either algae or anemones, but you take another sip and look for the host/hostess/creature of the deep. After that, your recollection is a little fuzzy. You're pretty sure that there was a party full of mermaid pirates, and you're pretty sure you had a good time. There are only memory fragments, but honestly with a situation like this, it's probably best. Ethel Merman, dancing skeleton fishbowl head, party lights 20,000 leagues under the sea. You wake up on a rock in the grotto and have a fierce headache. For the rest of your life you have very strong opinions about any underwater movie, particularly the animated Little Mermaid.
3 comments on "mermaid grotto cheat"
  1. I am trying to figure out from your description, but just going by the photo, though I have no idea of scale, that looks like an ideal place to set a murder mystery.

  2. Murder? That is exactly what I thought of when I saw that photo.

  3. what is the matter with you murder on the mind people?! It's a perfectly lovely spot for a gorey-style picnic.

    ... oh, all right! now that you mention it, it does kind of look like a spot ideal for being left for dead. (which I would like to point out, is different than murder.)

    As for scale - it's big. That opening in the rock was very tall. Maybe not tall ship tall, but pretty damn tall. I love the coast!


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